Further Proof That You Can’t Satisfy Star Wars Fans

(Spoilers for Rise of Skywalker)

So, Last Jedi was blasted for straying too far from the Star Wars formula.  Rise of Skywalker is getting blasted for sticking too closely to the Star Wars formula.  This is why we can’t have nice things.

Seriously, I've heard nothing for the past two years but how much The Last Jedi sucked, and how Rian Johnson should never be allowed to direct a movie again.  But Rise of Skywalker overturns a few of TLJ's decisions, and suddenly Johnson is the second coming of Christ.  How dare they retcon all these things you've been complaining about for two years?  

Critics say Rise of Skywalker paid too much attention to the criticism of the last movie, and uses too many of the suggestions put forward by fans on internet message boards.  One humorist even said it felt like it was written by Reddit.  Is this a bad thing now?  Listening to criticism?  Trying to please your fans?  How dare they!

They say it’s not performing as well as expected in the box office, but do remember that Saturday was the busiest shopping day of the year; some people are too busy for a movie.  Besides, it’s competing against Cats!  *gigglesnort*  I hope it picks up some momentum after the holidays, because I don’t like it when Disney thinks things underperformed. 

But I just have to wonder what fans were expecting.  They did everything you asked, and you’re still unhappy.  Look, I would love to get an intelligently-written, seriously dramatic Star Wars movie someday.  But I only say that because I’d like to see Star Wars cross all into all sorts of genres eventually.  Star Wars sitcom?  I’m there.  Star Wars horror?  Awesome.  The best Star Wars novel I’ve read was a romance.  And The Mandalorian is basically a Star Wars western, and it does the job beautifully.

Side note:  Okay, so a lot of people will argue that Star Wars has always been a space western, but I don’t see it.  Sure, Han Solo is obviously a cowboy, but he’s not the main character.  To me, Luke’s story arc always more closely resembled old ninja movies, right down to him seeking out knowledge from an ancient wizened sage who is more powerful than his tiny frame would suggest.  But Star Trek also gets compared to westerns, so I honestly think some people just compare everything to westerns.  It has good guys and bad guys and sometimes they shoot at each other?  Must be a western, cuz gosh, no other genre has that.  But IMO, the only true space western is Firefly.

So yes, I would have no problem with Rian Johnson taking the reins again, turning the formula on its head, and making a movie that confuses our expectations.  But I also like Star Wars movies feeling like shallow theme park rides.  I hate to admit this, but Star Wars is supposed to appeal to twelve year olds.  I love that it can be enjoyed by all ages, but I think the target audience should always remain the tween demographic, at least for the numbered films.  That should be the goal: to put in just enough plot to keep the adults entertained, but to keep it light and energetic enough to keep the twelve-year-olds from looking at their smartphones.  Use the spin-off movies to experiment with other genres.

When The Sixth Sense put M. Night Shyamalan on the map, it also branded him as the “twist” guy.  There was a certain expectation that went with seeing his movies, and if he made a movie that didn’t have a twist, some people felt cheated.  I think there is a similar expectation that Star Wars movies follow a certain formula.  The minute Rey was introduced, audience members speculated on who her parents would be.  There just had to be some explanation as to why Force powers came to her so easily.  But then, they never really explained how Anakin came to be, at least not on film.  It’s a big universe; there’s no reason why any new characters have to be related to anybody.  But apparently some Star Wars fans just can’t accept a character without knowing their complete genealogy.

Anyway, there’s no accounting for why one likes or dislikes something.  But the reasons I’m hearing for people not liking Rise of Skywalker are, frankly, stupid.  This goes back to my blog on “Introspection Illusion”, but I don’t think people dislike things for the reasons they think they dislike them.  Can’t keep up with the movie’s frenetic pace?  Must be because you didn’t like them retconning Rey’s parentage.  Dialogue not making you laugh?  Must be because you didn’t like the Chewbacca death fake-out.  Ending feels too happy?  Must be because they showed too much (or too little) of Rose Tico.

If none of that makes any sense, well, that’s how I feel reading some of the reviews out there.  I don’t think some of you actually know why you didn’t like it.  I’m just saying, if you had enjoyed the movie on a more subconscious level, you might not be quibbling about the strange plot twists.  I’ve only seen Rise of Skywalker once so far, but I think this is one of those movies that’s probably more enjoyable a second time.  Once you know what happens, and aren’t worrying so much about who’s going to die or whether you missed a twist, you can enjoy it for what Star Wars has always been: popcorn munchers, roller coaster rides, special effects showcases, and homages to the cheesy serials from the 1930s.

If you didn’t like Rise of Skywalker, that’s okay.  It’s not your fault you’re a dullard, you probably just had boring parents.  I won’t hold that against you.  But I’m going to go hang out with the cool kids.  You know, the ones who don’t hate fun.  Feel free to join us when you’re ready to let your inner twelve-year-old out to play.  We’ll be happy to have you.

Rise of Skywalker Thougts (Spoilers)

Spoiler Alert for Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

If you haven't seen the movie yet, read this blog instead.

I saw the movie yesterday, and I'm still trying to put everything together in my head.

The plot jumped around so much that I'm having a hard time remembering the sequence of events.  Most Star Wars movies are pretty easy to summarize, and are so sectionalized that they feel like two or three mini-movies.  For example, Return of the Jedi has the Jabba part, the Yoda part, the Endor part, and finally the climax (which jumps back and forth from three locations).

But Rise of Skywalker was so chaotic, that I'm going to have to watch it again just to get the timeline straight.  Not that I'll need an excuse to see it again.  I mean, yeah, I know they spend a fair amount of the movie looking for a MacGuffin that will lead them to the planet where the climax takes place, but that search covers so many locations that I can't remember what happens when.

Regarding Leia - While I'm glad they utilized unused footage instead of CGI (mostly because I didn't want to hear people whining about it), it didn't actually look any better than CGI would have.  Some of her scenes were so obviously digitally inserted that she wasn't even lit the same as the characters standing around her.  Maybe it was more obvious because I knew about it in advance, but I'm pretty sure I would have noticed something was odd about her scenes.  Plus, a lot of her lines felt like they could have fit anywhere.

I was disappointed that the finale didn't involve a huge lightsaber battle.  I mean, I know there was some swordplay there, like with Kylo vs the minions, but I wanted a boss battle.  Either have Kylo or Rey get temporarily possessed for a big duel, or let the newly healed Palpatine pull out a saber like he did in Episode 3.

But Star Wars climaxes are hard.  Rey is put into the same position Luke was in at the end of Return of the Jedi.  Kill Palpatine and become evil yourself, or let him live and he kills all your allies.  RotJ handled this brilliantly, with Luke refusing to fight, and Vader killing Palpatine.  I thought something similar was going to happen here.  Either Rey or Kylo would strike him down, become possessed and evil, and they would fight each other.  Instead, Rey defeated Palpatine with some reflected lightning / force of will / power of love scene that feels right out of a Disney movie.  Oh, wait.

Of course, we did get a nice duel between Kylo and Rey earlier in the movie, but I found that fight a little underwhelming.  It was a cool location with the crashing waves, but it just felt like something was missing.  I think it was the soundtrack.  It needed something like "Duel of the Fates" to really make me feel it, but if I remember correctly a good portion of that scene didn't have music at all.

The ending - with Rey calling herself a Skywalker - makes it feel like the entire trilogy is Rey's origin story.  It feels like something really great is about to start.  Too bad Daisy Ridley says she's done with Star Wars after this trilogy.  Maybe she'd still agree to do voice work.  I would totally watch an animated series about Rey that takes place after this movie.

The little shout outs and fan service didn't do much for me, and seemed a little pandering.  Yay, Lando's back, but he doesn't do much that another character couldn't have done.  He would have been put to better use if he'd been the casino contact they were looking for in The Last Jedi.  Yay, Chewie finally gets a medal, but it felt like such a wink to the audience that it took me out of the film.  Yay, there was a lesbian kiss, but it felt like such a hollow token gesture that it annoyed the GLBT community just as much as it annoyed the bigots.

I know there's a lot of criticism in this blog entry, but I really did love this movie.  It's just easier (and more fun) to point out a movie's flaws than its virtues.  But nothing I've listed above is damning, just minor quibbles about a movie that's almost perfect.

The thing is, a lot of the negative reviews I've read about Rise of Skywalker have basically accused it of trying too hard to please fans.  It's a pet peeve of mine that "trying too hard" is considered a bad thing.  The world is full of movies that don't try hard enough.  Yeah, yeah, "Do or do not, there is no try", but Yoda's never directed a movie.

Ranking the Star Wars Movies

A few months ago, everyone was ranking the Star Wars films.  I wanted to wait until Rise of Skywalker to post mine.  Note that I’m only ranking theatrical films here.

1. Return of the Jedi
2. A New Hope
3. Empire Strikes Back
4. The Rise of Skywalker
5. The Force Awakens
6. Rogue One
7. Revenge of the Sith
8. Attack of the Clones
9. Solo
10. The Last Jedi
11. The Phantom Menace
12. The Clone Wars

Some notes…

1. Return of the Jedi:
Okay, yes, I like RotJ best, have at me.  I know a lot of Star Wars purists don’t like it because it rehashes the “blow up the Death Star” plot from ANH, and also because their testicles will shrivel off if they admit they think Ewoks are cute.  But RotJ also has Jabba the Hutt, the Rancor, the Sarlacc pit, speeder bikes, a huge space battle, Ackbar’s legendary line, Boba Fett actually fighting instead of just standing around, and a top notch lightsaber duel.

2. A New Hope:
A New Hope should really be at the top of the list.  After all, it is the quintessential Star Wars movie.  It deserves the honor just for being so groundbreaking.  But honestly?  I can no longer watch it over and over like I can the others.  I just know it too well.  As much as I love it, it’s so ingrained in me I might as well watch a blank wall and imagine the movie.  There’s nothing new in the background to notice, there’s no nuances to catch.  That’s why I like the Special Editions – not because they’re actually better, but because there’s new things to see.

3. The Empire Strikes Back:
Yeah, sure, most people like ESB best.  I don’t blame them, it’s a solid movie with a great script.  But to me, it just doesn’t feel like enough happens in that movie.  The cynic in me thinks that the reason ESB is so popular is because the bad guys win, and human beings are basically miserable little black-hearted trolls who like to see evil triumph because it gives them hope for their own lives.

4. The Rise of Skywalker:
This one's so fresh on my mind, it could go up or down this list in the future.  I mean, I loved The Phantom Menace when I first saw it, but the flaws stood out more and more with time.  Still - and I might eat these words later - I think Rise of Skywalker is going to stand the test of time.

5. The Force Awakens:
Yeah, yeah, it's basically a remake of A New Hope, but so frakking what.  I like ANH, but as I said above, it's boring now.  TFA is much prettier telling of the story.

6. Rogue One:
I thought a lot of this movie was boring, but the ending makes up for it.  A lot of people were turned off by the CGI actors, but Star Wars has always been about experimenting with technology.  The original trilogy pushed the limits of what they could do with miniatures and prosthetics.  The Special Editions and the prequels did the same for CGI, for good or ill.  One of the prequels was the first film ever shot entirely digitally.  The Force Awakens showed us how CGI can coexist with practical effects so well that it’s hard to tell the difference.  Plus, BB-8 was kind of an engineering marvel.  Defending Star Wars always feels like defending NASA.  You know, it’s not about sending people into space.  It’s about all the technological breakthroughs it takes to get someone into space, and how those breakthroughs can also be applied to everyday life.

7. Revenge of the Sith:
I rank Episodes 2 and 3 about the same.  But while AotC takes a while to get going, RotS is exciting pretty much from the start.  So RotS just barely beats AotC.

8. Attack of the Clones:
This one starts out slow, but the last forty-five minutes or so is great fun.  Some of the special effects aren’t aging well, though.  Some of the shots of the clone troopers look straight out of Battlefront.

9. Solo:
I thought Solo was much better than people gave it credit for.  It wasn't great, it wasn't bad, it was just fun and pointless.  Yes, it spends a little too much time on fan service, showing how every aspect of Han Solo's being came into existence.  But I'm glad there's finally a canon, on-film explanation of the "12 parsecs" thing, so people can finally stop making fun of Han's line in ANH.  And young Lando was spot-on perfect; it's a shame he didn't get his own spin-off movie.

10. The Last Jedi:
You know that feeling when you’re about 85% of the way through Skyrim, and you decide you want to finish up a bunch of the side quests before you get back to the main story?  That’s how I feel watching TLJ.  It’s a perfectly entertaining movie, but it always feels like something more important is happening somewhere else.

11. The Phantom Menace:
I’ll say this, I loved opening night.  We had friends who spent days in line to buy tickets.  My wife and I decided to wait and see it when it was less crowded.  But on opening night we changed our mind, and managed to find a theater that still had tickets available.  The energy was electrifying.  Star Wars fans everywhere, some in costume, it was awesome.  As far as the movie itself is concerned… well, the pod racing is kind of neat.  And that lightsaber fight is still one of the best scenes in the series.  But overall it’s a bit boring.

12. The Clone Wars:
I was going to just list the live action movies, but I figured, hey, I saw Clone Wars in the theater, I might as well put it on the list.  As a pilot for the TV series, it was serviceable, but the decision to release it theatrically was baffling.  There is no reason a movie about rescuing Jabba’s baby should have made it to the theaters.  Also?  I didn’t care for the CGI style they used, where everybody looked like they were carved out of wood.  I prefer the earlier, “Samurai Jack”-style Clone Wars cartoons.

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (Spoiler Free)

Star Wars has always been divisive.  Starting with the Great Ewok Divide of 1983, Star Wars fans have always been at each other’s throats.  Special Editions?  Broken fan base.  Prequels?  Broken fan base.  Disney resetting the expanded universe?  Force Awakens being a little too similar to A New Hope?  Rogue One’s CGI actors?  Solo’s overindulgence in fan service?  Each one broke the fan base a little bit more.  And The Last Jedi was probably the most divisive of all.  At this point, Star Wars fandom is divided into so many splinter groups, you can’t even find a Star Wars conversation online that doesn’t devolve into name calling and Force choking.

I went into Rise of Skywalker with high hopes.  I’d read a few reviews that called it disappointing, but I don’t think those reviewers really get Star Wars.  They said it was predictable, didn’t break enough new ground, and undid too much of The Last Jedi’s progress.  Knowing these potential shortcomings going in, I was prepared for a fun romp with lots of cool action scenes, but that doesn’t blow me away with originality.  So, how did it measure up to my expectations?

I loved it.  It had lots of action, great special effects, and it wrapped up this trilogy quite nicely.  And what's more, I actually like The Last Jedi a bit more now, now that I can see where things were going.  If I have one complaint about The Rise of Skywalker, it's that it's damn near exhausting.  There's almost no downtime, no good time for a bathroom break, and it jumps from scene to scene so quickly at times that my brain was still processing events from three scenes ago. 

It's two hours and twenty one minutes, but it still feels over-edited in places, like they wanted to guarantee we wouldn't get bored.  Which is not to say it's all action.  But even the expositional scenes kept up the pace.  After watching the world's slowest car chase in space in The Last Jedi, this movie really sped things up. 

The reviewers who called it “disappointing” mostly complained about what wasn’t in the movie, and I don’t like that.   Always review a movie for what it is, not what it isn’t.  It’s true that Rise of Skywalker commits the same sins as Force Awakens – it retreads too much on past ground, and it doesn’t do much new or clever with the series.  Oh darn.  I wish the prequels had been that “disappointing.”

…So I’m torn here.  On the one hand, I think everyone is entitled to their opinion.  We all want different things out of movies, and one person’s trash is another ones treasure, yada yada yada.  But… This a fantastic movie.  It has everything I want out of a Star Wars film.  And if you don’t like it, then I don’t like you.

Star Wars Anticipation

I just wanted to throw out some thoughts before I see “The Rise of Skywalker” this weekend.

I’m sure I’ve told this story before on this blog, but I’m using it to drive home a different point this time.  In 2005 I attended the “Star Wars Celebration III” convention in Indianapolis.  George Lucas was there for a special interview and Q&A session, but we weren’t planning to see it.  Not that we didn’t want to, it’s just that we didn’t want to try to compete with the more hardcore fans.  See, the line to see Lucas started the day before the convention.  Hundreds of fans stayed up overnight, standing outside in the freezing rain, just to make sure they got seats for the show.  We weren’t that crazy.

The morning of the convention, we got there early, and got in line.  If you’ve never been to the Indiana Convention Center, it’s connected to some of the surrounding buildings by skywalks.  Which means there are multiple ways to get into the building, and we picked the wrong one.  Or, as it turns out, the right one.  We were standing in a crowd of people in one of the skywalks, waiting for the gates to open, when the convention employees started shouting, “This way, people!”  Totally confused, we were herded like cattle through the skywalk, into the upper floor of the convention center, and into an auditorium. 

When we realized that this was the auditorium for the Lucas interview, we were just giddy.  We hadn’t even bought our tickets yet.  We could have walked in from the street, with no intention of going to the convention, and seen George Lucas for free.  It was amazing.

The interview with Lucas was interesting, but I don’t remember much about it.  I remember more about the Q&A afterward.  It was just a few weeks before “Revenge of the Sith” came out, so lots of people asked questions about it.  There was this one kid who rather boldly asked if Episode III was going to be exciting like Episode II, or if it was going to be boring like Episode I.  Actually, I think the phrase he used was “in depth”, but the rest of the audience let out a sort of gasp/groan that indicated they knew exactly what the kid was really trying to ask.  Basically, was Episode III going to be as bad as Episode I?

Lucas took it in stride, and he said something I’ll never forget.  He said that for years, he’d always imagined that it would take three movies to tell Darth Vader’s origin story.  But when he finally sat down and started planning out the prequels, he realized that the story would only take two movies.  So he decided to make Episode I more of a bonus story, a nice way to introduce audiences to Anakin as a child, and give some background to the universe.  So there you have it, straight from George’s mouth – Episode I is basically just filler. 

But here’s the thing… At least he did sit down to plan them in advance.  Because that’s how you do a trilogy.  Before you start writing the first script, you outline all the major events of the trilogy, so you don’t set anything up you can’t resolve later.  Say what you will about George Lucas, but at least he planned ahead.

I actually enjoyed The Last Jedi.  I loved the visuals, and it had some great moments.  But my biggest complaint was that it just didn’t feel epic.  It felt like a mid-season filler episode from a Star Wars TV series, rather than part of a movie trilogy.  I kept wondering how these events affected the trilogy as a whole.  It just didn’t feel like it moved the trilogy forward.  Even now when people ask me if I liked TLJ, it’s still hard to answer.  Because I’m not even sure how I feel until I see Episode IX.  As a stand-alone Star Wars movie, TLJ is a fun diversion.  As part of a trilogy?  I don’t know…  Surely there’s a point to it?  Surely it was setting up a lot of pins for Episode IX to knock down?

…Except it wasn’t.  So many articles and interviews have since revealed that this trilogy was written one piece at a time.  It’s like that campfire game where you pass the flashlight around, and whoever has the flashlight continues the story where the last person left off.  If you’re going to do that, fine, but don’t call it a trilogy.  That is not how you make a trilogy.  I repeat, THAT IS NOT HOW YOU MAKE A TRILOGY.  You don’t let one director set up challenges for another director to solve.  You don’t casually dismiss plot threads that were carefully set up in the previous movie.  Episodes 7 through 9 are a trilogy in the same way the first three Jurassic Park movies are a trilogy.  Even the Matrix trilogy tells a more cohesive story than the current Star Wars trilogy.

I’ve already read a spoiler-free advance review of The Rise of Skywalker, and it does sound like they managed to wrap things up neatly.  If true, good for them.  But whatever time Rise of Skywalker spends cleaning up TLJ’s messes is time that could have been spent on original content.  I’m going to go into this with an open mind, but I’m still furious that they didn’t plan out the trilogy in advance.

They’re already discussing the next Star Wars trilogy (though I’m sure that depends on how well Episode IX does).  Great.  Good or bad, I’ll take all the Star Wars they want to give me.  I honestly don’t see myself ever giving up on the series.  But please, please, please let them have learned from their mistakes.  Please let them outline this set in advance.  I don’t mind non-numbered Star Wars one-shots, and I hope Disney starts allowing them again.  But numbered Star Wars movies should feel epic.  If you call it a trilogy, please make it a trilogy.

I'm begging you.

Life is Strange 2 - Episode 5 (Spoilers)

Disclaimer:  This blog contains major spoilers for “Life is Strange 2”.

Wow.  Okay, so quick summary:

The chapter begins with Daniel and Sean living with their mother in an off-the-grid trailer park in the Arizona desert.  The finally decide to leave when they learn the police are getting close.  They arrive at the border wall, Daniel makes a hole in it, but they get arrested before they can cross the border.  Daniel breaks them out of jail, drive to an actual border crossing, and find a police roadblock waiting for them.  Then you make your final choice - surrender to the police, or use Daniel's powers to plow through the roadblock.

In the previous LiS games, your earlier choices didn't make much difference.  You could be a bastard or a saint all the way through the game, and you still got the same binary choice at the end.  In LiS2, you still only get two choices, but the way you've raised Daniel affects his decisions as well.  So you end up with four possible endings, and three additional variations based on your relationship with other characters.  I've watched all the endings now, and none of them are what I would call happy endings.

In my playthrough, I chose to drive through the roadblock.  But once we had a clear path, thanks to my moral guidance, Daniel jumped out of the car and surrendered.  Sean went on to live in Mexico alone, while Daniel went to live with his grandparents in America.  It jumps forward a few years, Daniel still has powers but has learned to keep them a secret.  He gets a postcard from Sean, letting him know he's doing okay.  They both live happy lives, just not together.

There was a really nice bit of fanservice in this chapter regarding the first Life is Strange game.  At the trailer park there is a man named David.  I had a couple of conversations with him before I realized who he was.  He mentioned that he had a daughter who occasionally visits, and he mentioned that his wife had died.  This flew over my head until I had a opportunity to explore his trailer.  Yep, it is indeed David Madsen, Chloe's stepdouche.

You find out that he and Chloe have made peace since the first game, and he's grown into a much better person.  If you hang around his trailer, you even get to hear his side of a phone call with Chloe.  You can even read a letter written to him from Victoria Chase.  I assume that if I'd picked the "I Sacrificed Chloe" option when it asks you at the beginning of the game, a few of his scenes would play out differently here.

Some final thoughts about the full game:
LiS2 is so full of establishing shots and filler, it probably could have been three chapters instead of five.  I don't know if that would have been a good idea, though.  A big part of the game's emotional weight depends on the player growing attached to the characters, and that's just not something you can do at high speeds.  But as it is, it still has pacing problems.

The politics can be heavy handed, and are not subtle.  Since I share its political beliefs, it's not offensive to me, but others will find it too preachy.  In my opinion, the game doesn't really take sides so much as show you the experience of a specific pair of Hispanic kids, but some of the bigoted characters are such over-the-top strawmen that it's hard not to see a political agenda.  And that's fine, there's a million other video games out there that make no political statement at all, so the haters can just go play those.

I've not heard any news of a "Life is Strange 3" yet, but I hope the series continues.  This development team's next game is called "Tell Me Why", and it looks right up my alley.  So look forward to reading my babbles about that.  Unfortunately it's being produced by XBox Game Studios, so I'll probably have to play it on the PC instead of the PS4.

My recaps of previous chapters:
Life is Strange 2 - Episode 1
Life is Strange 2 - Episode 2
Life is Strange 2 - Episode 3
Life is Strange 2 - Episode 4
The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit

And what the heck, here's links to my blogs on the earlier games:
LiS 1-1, LiS 1-2, LiS 1-3, LiS 1-4, LiS 1-5, LiS:BtS

Some screenshots:

My choices: