The Book of Boba Fett

As I write this, six episodes of “The Book of Boba Fett” have aired, and next week will be the season finale. Overall, I’m enjoying the series. It started out a little slow, but it keeps getting better. I’m anxiously awaiting the upcoming episode, to see how they resolve all this.

Uh, oh, it’s going to be another one of those “unexpected reinforcements” climaxes, isn’t it? Like the end of “The Rise of Skywalker”, or like we saw thirty times in the Lord of the Rings movies. Here’s what I’m picturing:

The Pykes show up at Boba’s doorstep (formerly Jabba’s Palace). It’s a small group of Pykes, with Cad Bane in the front. Boba comes out, surrounded by his allies and guards. Cad tells Boba to step down and there won’t be any further trouble. Boba refuses, and tells Cad that if the Pykes want Boba out of the way, they’ll have to fight for it. Cad snaps his fingers, and more Pykes come out of hiding and join the group. The Pykes now outnumber Boba’s group by ten-to-one.

Fighting ensues. Things look bad for Boba at first, but then the Freetown townsfolk appear over the horizon, a makeshift army of moisture farmers and retirees. But it’s not enough. Then a tribe of Sand People come running over a nearby dune - new allies Boba befriended off screen after his own tribe was massacred. But more Pykes join the fight. Then a bunch of Wookies appear, called in by Krrsantan. Also a hundred more street punks driving brightly colored speeder bikes. Finally, Amy Sedaris comes over the ridge, leading an army of Jawa ex-boyfriends.

The Pykes keep taking losses until they start to flee. It eventually comes down to a fist fight between Boba and Cad in the throne room. Just as Cad gains the upper hand, Boba manages to hit the trap door button. Both fall into the pit, but the Rancor has imprinted on Boba, so only Cad is in danger. Boba spares his life in exchange for his total surrender.

I’m mostly kidding, but I can’t wait to see if any of the above is true. (Edit: Well, I was close on a couple of details, anyway.)

Boba Fett was my favorite Star Wars character as a kid. At the time, we only had the original trilogy, and this was even before the Special Editions. Which means Boba only had about two minutes of screen time, during which he mostly stood around nodding at people, before having a clumsy death.

But he had the coolest costume, and that made him memorable. Sometimes less is more, and Boba’s lack of screen time meant we could fill in the details with the coolest adventures imaginable. His action figure got more use than any other toy in my collection, and I drew many comic books starring Boba Fett.

So, is the new show any good? Well, I like it, but I can see why some other people don’t. Fett’s noble demeanor – he wants to be a crime boss who uses honor instead of fear – is at odds with roughly half the fan fiction out there. If you read some of the older Expanded Universe novels and comics, you’ll even find official authors conflicting with each other.

One novel might portray him as an honorable hunter who abides by a strict moral code, while another makes him out to be a cold-bloodied killer who turns on his allies to make a quick buck. So the fans of the “cold and heartless” Fett are probably disappointed that they went with the honorable version.

It doesn’t help that the best BoBF moments are the ones that involve The Mandalorian. Causing some to ask: Is Din Djarin cooler than Boba Fett?

The problem with that question is that we haven’t seen enough of Boba on the big screen. His scenes in the original trilogy were basically cameos. Then we got to see him as a kid in the Prequels. And now we’re seeing Boba’s retirement plan. I have every reason to believe that when Boba was in his 20s, he was just as much of a badass as Djarin. It’s just that those adventures were relegated to comic books and novels, most of which are no longer canon.

Din Djarin, at this point in his life, basically is young Boba Fett. He’s having the adventures we always wanted to see from Fett, but were never filmed. And when Djarin reaches Boba’s age, he’ll probably start thinking about a retirement plan of his own. And then he’ll be boring. So no, Djarin isn’t cooler than Boba. He’s just at a cooler time of his life.

But you know what’s really cool? Peripheral vision. Being able to get a haircut or eat in public. Scratching your nose when it itches. Kissing. The ability to convey emotions through facial expressions. Sneezing without getting snot all over your visor. Having people actually recognize you, without them having to wonder if someone else is wearing your clothes (anybody remember Jodo Kast?). Just, in general, being allowed to take your helmet off when you want to, without violating some ridiculous cultural pseudo-religious taboo.

You know what’s not cool? Helmet sweat. It’s damp and rank and it gets everywhere. Hate on Boba Fett all you want, but at least his helmet doesn’t smell like armpits. “If I ever remove my helmet, I won’t be able to put it back on.” Yeah, that’s because you’ll smell fresh air for the first time in 20 years, Din. I wouldn’t be able to put my helmet back on either. But I digress.

Another complaint I’ve seen is that some of the elements don’t seem to fit in the Star Wars universe. The most glaring example being those brightly-colored speeder bikes in the third episode. Apparently they were designed as an homage to “American Graffiti” by George Lucas. Personally they don’t bother me.

I’ve probably said this before, but the problem with Star Wars is that we haven’t actually seen enough of the casual part of the universe. Most of what we’ve seen has been during wartime, from the perspective of the soldiers fighting in those wars. When we do see someone’s day-to-day life, it’s either the criminal underworld, or royalty, or a geriatric Muppet living in exile. Rarely do we see the normal life of a civilian. 

Except on Tatooine. We know far too much about Tatooine. It’s supposed to be a remote planet most people have never heard of, but it’s the site of half of everything that’s ever happened in Star Wars. Between Tatooine and Jakku, the desert feels like the default Star Wars location. When people picture a Star Wars casual outfit, they picture desert gear.

Picture this: It’s 1000 years from now. We’ve colonized every habitable planet in our solar system. Earth is the birth of our civilization, and most of our system is governed by the colonies on Mars. And yet, for some reason, 50% of our fiction takes place on Pluto. WHY? I wish the Death Star had blown up Tatooine instead.

Why is this such a problem for me? Because of everything we don’t know. We don’t know what Star Wars grocery stores look like. Or what sort of TV shows people watch. Or what sports they play. I mean, sure, we know a lot about the desert planets, but what’s everyday life like on Coruscant? Or Naboo? Planets where the biome itself isn’t such a huge factor in your everyday life. Why should I care who wins these "Star Wars" when I rarely see the lifestyles they're trying to protect?

The reason this bothers me is that it means whenever they do try to introduce new casual elements… the new elements don’t look “Star Wars” enough. This isn’t a new problem. When Episode I came out, some people complained that the ship designs were too sleek and modern looking. When Episode II came out, I heard a few complaints about some of the scenes on Coruscant (like the diner) seeming out-of-place in the Star Wars universe.

So those complaints about the speeder bikes make no sense to me. Just look at the world around you. If people have the technology to build a thing, someone will eventually build it. Look how different cars look now than they looked in the 1950. Look all the different fashions, and the shapes of houses. Styles change all the time in real life. But apparently people want Star Wars to remain stagnant, using only variations of what we’ve seen already. That, to me, is unrealistic.

And this is why I want more official Star Wars content. I would like Disney to hire George Lucas as a consultant (and nothing more), and I want them to make some TV shows that flesh out the more casual side of the Star Wars universe. Not everything has to be an action/western just because it’s Star Wars. Give me a sitcom set on Bespin or a legal drama set on Coruscant. Even if a show turns out really bad, it will normalize some of the elements we haven’t seen. Adding to the Star Wars lore will give future writers more to work with.

As usual, I’ve really gotten off track here. My point is, Book of Boba Fett is a decent show. If nothing else, I’m glad we finally have a canon, on-screen depiction of Fett escaping the Sarlacc pit. But the show is not for everyone. Like most things Star Wars, I’m just tired of people hating it for the wrong reasons.

What If...?

Did you really think I wasn't going to gush over this show?  Uatu know better than that.  Seriously, this is my favorite Marvel TV series so far.  I always loved the "What If...?" comic book series, along with DC's "Elseworlds" comics - I just love seeing alternate versions of my favorite heroes.  It's like a Marvel-themed Twilight Zone.  

The concept is awesome.  Take stories you know so well, change one element, and see where the butterfly effect takes you.  Sometimes they ask something obvious, like in the first episode where Peggy Carter gets the super soldier serum.  Then we have the second episode asking what if Black Panther had been Star-Lord - something no Marvel fan had ever wondered.  And yet both episodes are brilliant.  In fact, several times I've been dubious when I saw the title of an episode, but the episode itself turned out to be great.

I also love that they're sticking to the MCU films here.  It gives all viewers a common ground, so that nobody has to have read "Sub-Mariner vs She-Hulk issue 143" to understand where the plot deviates.  I hear they're already working on season 2, and planning to add new seasons annually.  This surprises me.  You'd think they'd want to wait for another decade of movies they can draw from, instead of mining the same films for ideas over and over.  

As of this blog, there's 25 MCU films to draw from.  But that pales in comparison to the thousands of stories the "What If...?" comic series had to draw from.  Season 2 is probably already too far along to include elements from Shang-Chi or The Eternals, so it will be another season of stories from the same characters that were in season 1.  That's fine, as long as they pick good stories, but I can't wait for new blood.  Just think what resources they'll have once the MCU has some X-Men and Fantastic Four movies under its belt.

I'm just afraid we're going to get too many variations of "What if (Hero A) had the powers of (Hero B)?" or "What if (Hero) became evil?" with the occasional "What if (Villain) got the Infinity Stones?"  Not that it wouldn't be entertaining, but it could get tedious after a while.  But hopefully my worries are groundless.  

The animation is beautiful.  I love the style.  I saw someone on YouTube complaining about the animation the other day, and frankly I'm starting to think some people shouldn't be allowed to have opinions.  

Anyway, here's my ranking of the first Season of Marvel's "What If...?"

1. S01E01 "What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?"

There's a good reason they made this the first episode.  Agent Carter as Cap is iconic.  You can slap her on the front of a DVD cover and instantly understand what the series is about.  Plus I love female versions of male heroes.  Rumor has it they're planning on continuing her story, putting one Captain Carter episode in each season. Personally I'd rather she just got a spin-off.

2. S01E03 "What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?" 

So it's a bit dark, but I found this murder mystery very compelling.  I also loved how it kept showing iconic scenes from the movies, but from other characters' perspectives, giving us another view of the universe.

3. S01E02 "What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?" 

Crazy idea, fun episode.  I loved how charming T'Challa's was, and seeing Thanos as a hero was great.  It took an army of heroes to defeat Thanos in Endgame, but T'Challa could have prevented the whole mess if he'd had the chance to give Thanos a good talking to.

4. S01E05 "What If... Zombies?!" 

I wasn't expecting to like this one, but I was pleasantly surprised.  Zombie stories are a dime-a-dozen these days.  The humor really saved it.

5. S01E07 "What If... Thor Were an Only Child?" 

This light-hearted romp was a nice change of pace after multiple downer episodes.  I'm glad they let loose and did a comedy episode, and I'm also glad they didn't do it often.

6. E09 "What If... the Watcher broke is Oath?"

I liked the epicness of this episode, and the way it tied up a lot of loose ends from earlier episodes.  I liked how it made its own version of the Avengers using alternate versions of existing characters.  Unfortunately, certain parts of the episode dragged on a bit.  Even some of the fights were kind of boring.  

7. S01E04 "What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?" 

An interesting episode, but dark and depressing.

8. S01E08 "What If... Ultron Won?" 

Actually letting Uatu be a major part of the story was a nice twist, but I hope they don't do it often.  It bugs me a little that they're giving these continuity, I prefer anthology shows to be unconnected.  The absolute worst episodes of "The Outer Limits" were the clip shows that tried to shoehorn several previous episodes into having a connected plot.  I don't want "The Adventures of Uatu", I just want to see cool alternate realities.

9. S01E06 "What If... Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?"  

Easily the most forgettable episode so far, but not bad.  

And while I'm here... Ranking the Disney / Marvel Studios shows:

1. What If... ?
2. WandaVision
3. Loki
4. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Aladdin and other LARDs

Sooo... that Genie… I don’t know. 

On the one hand, I think the makeup/special effect is top notch.  I don’t see how they could have made it look any better than it does.  It’s an amazing melding of the animated movie and Will Smith.  But just because he's made up and/or rendered well doesn’t make it pleasing to look at.  I still feel like I’m looking at A Thing That Should Not Be.  I think they should have just redesigned the genie from the ground up, rather than turning Will Smith into the bright blue 1992 genie.  It’s a beautiful execution of a flawed concept.

I do think Will Smith will do a decent job.  I’m sure it’s going to be an entertaining movie.  But yeesh, Disney, you’re going to flood the market.  According to Wikipedia, Disney has four live action remakes coming out this year: Dumbo in March, Aladdin in May, Lion King in July, and Lady & the Tramp in October.  Not to mention Mulan in March next year.   This is the same company that cancelled several Star Wars spin-off movies for fear of people having “Star Wars Fatigue”. 

Their previous Live Action Remade Disney movies (just for fun, let’s call them LARDs) have been of varying quality.  101 Dalmatians was fun but forgettable.  I thought the live action Cinderella was just plain boring.  The Jungle Book was pretty good, at least it had its moments.  Beauty and the Beast was… good and bad.  Gaston was amazing, but the Beast was stiff and unconvincing.  Given how good the CGI was in the Jungle Book, I was surprised the Beast didn’t look better.  I didn’t like the character designs for some of the living furniture, and the new songs were utterly forgettable.  But overall, it was enjoyable.

I’m typically of the opinion that if you don’t like the look of a LARD, just don’t see it.  Don’t complain that the movie shouldn’t be made, don’t childishly tweet that Disney is "raping your childhood" or whatever.  Other people are trying to enjoy these movies, and don’t need negativity from whiny bloggers who aren’t even part of the target audience.  I’m just trying to figure out Disney’s game plan here.  It seems like they’re in such a rush to get as many LARDs through the door as possible.  It’s like they’re trying to make up for lost time somehow.  I worry that they might be sacrificing quality for speed. 

Arguably, the longer you wait on a CGI-heavy LARD, the better.  Some of these movies require a huge amount of CGI, and those visual effects (usually) get better every year.  Once you put a LARD out there, it means the movie goes to the bottom of the list for being remade again.  It will probably be 50 years before they make another live action of Beauty and the Beast, which means the next couple of generations are going to grow up with the shoddy Beast in today’s version.  But if they had just waited another 5 years or so, they might have been able to tweak the CGI to perfection.  I don’t know, maybe they could release a “Star Wars”-style special edition with updated special effects.  But that would just make people whine more.

I certainly don’t want to say it’s a bad idea that Disney is remaking these films, and I’m actually looking forward to some of them.  I’m just worried that some of the movies won’t be well received, and after the first bomb Disney will throw another tantrum – sorry, I mean “rethink their market strategy” – like they did after Solo, and stop making LARDs altogether.

For the record, I'm not sure I believe in “Star Wars Fatigue”.  I believe that Solo paid for the sins of The Last Jedi.  Like it or not (and I didn’t hate it), TLJ wasn’t one of the more popular movies in the Star Wars series.  But it still made a ton of money, because it’s one of the main films in the series.  What are you going to do, skip it?  It’s a series, you can’t just skip episodes.  But Solo came out less than six months later, and people said, “Well, these movies aren’t very good lately, and that one looks skippable, so let’s wait for Netflix.”  But that doesn't mean they're sick of Star Wars movies, it just means they want better ones.

I didn't think Solo was great, but it was a decent popcorn muncher.  The numbered Star Wars movies should feel epic (which may have been another issue with TLJ), but the spin-offs should have their own feel.  I don't mind some of them being mindless fun with no real point.  In fact, I encourage it.  If they would just put a little more time between releases, I think they'd make some pretty good money on Star Wars spin-offs.

Yeah, I wish audiences were more forgiving, but that's not gonna happen.  Regardless of my opinion, the onus is on Disney to create a release schedule that maximizes their profit.  The internet is full of people complaining about LARDs, so it might be a good time to slow it down a little.