We saw an unlikely combination of movies this weekend, Predators and Inception. Both were great, though obviously very different.
Predators
Predators was awesome. Sullivan spent most of the second period in the penalty box, but he scored three goals in the third. Wait, wrong Predators.
Predators the movie. Right. Well, after the AvP movies, I really wasn't expecting much when I heard they were making a new Predator movie. I knew I'd see it eventually, but I could wait until DVD. Then it actually started getting good reviews, at least in my circle. I'm sure the professional movie critics are blasting it, but they never like the same kinds of films I like anyway.
This is arguably the first good movie of the Predator series. Now, before you start booing me, hear me out. I've always loved the Predator series. I love the creature design, the technology, and the general idea of these creatures that kill us for sport. Alien invasions shouldn't always be about world domination; there has to be other reasons a hostile being might visit a planet.
But, the individual movies themselves... eh, I'm just not as into them as I thought I was. I used to own 1 & 2 on VHS, but rarely watched them. I currently own both of them on DVD, but those discs have never even made it to the player. I just like the idea of them more than the movies themselves. The first Predator was a little too manly for my tastes. The sequel was okay, but very much a sequel for sequel's sake. You know, just more of the same for those who wanted the first movie to be longer. And of course, the AvP movies were fun, mindless action flicks for those who just wanting to see a little blood on a Friday night.
The new movie is similar to the original. They're in a jungle again, and you know the drill from the beginning - they're all going to get killed one by one until someone faces the final boss. However, this is the first one of the series to actually have some decent acting, and a good script.
I think my favorite part is how the movie begins. They could have started with one of the character's backstory on Earth, and shown what he was doing before he was abducted, and so on. But come on, this is a movie for Predator fans! We don't care about exposition, we want to be dropped right into the action.
Okay, make no mistake, it's not Shakespeare. But if I want a good story, I'll wait for the DVD. In the theaters, I want to go on a ride.
Inception
You know how sometimes you're watching a movie, and an entire scene turns out to have been just a dream? Then a bit later, the waking world turns out to be a dream as well? And then, it turns out that you weren't even at the theater today, and you just dreamed you were watching a movie? But after you wake up from that dream, you realize that your entire life has all been just a dream? Inception is kind of like that, except you're also drunk.
Lest you think I'm being negative, it's a rather pleasant sort of drunk, the kind where you lose your inhibitions just enough that you actually experience some sort of clarity (or think you do), and you actually sound smarter to those around you.
I really can't go into the plot without giving away too much, and I'd seriously recommend you avoid reading too many reviews before you see it. Heck, don't even read the review I linked to above. It's one of those plots where the less you know going in, the more you'll enjoy the show. Believe me, it's worth your money, and you don't need to know why first.
You will experience a bit of Fridge Logic when you get home, and the movie's technology is of the "it works because it works" variety. But you'll be too busy counting layers and keeping track of who's mind is doing what to really care about the science.
Go see it.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 09, 2010
Coming Soon: Parody Movie
The original Airplane! is one of the greatest films of all time. As a parody movie, they just don't get any funnier. Not only is the humor clever (if silly), but they cram in a whole lot of it. Almost every scene is worth at least a chuckle. Even if the actors are having a serious conversation, there's always something going on the the background, or at least a funny sign on the wall.
How brilliant is it? Consider this: A large number of viewers don't even realize that the movie is almost a scene-by-scene parody of a movie called "Zero Hour!". They know it's based on some old airplane-related movies, but a lot of Airplane! fans never saw the specific film it spends most of the time mocking.
Yes, Airplane! would be even funnier to someone who's seen Zero Hour!, and actually got all the references they were making. But the humor in Airplane! is so well-done, you don't even need to have seen the source material to get a laugh. How many of Scary Movie's jokes would have still been funny to those who hadn't seen Scream? Hell, how many of Scary Movie's jokes were as funny as Airplane!, even to those who had seen Scream?
After Airplane!, there were very few movies that captured the same magic. Airplane II: The Sequel was almost as perfect, but to be fair, it did use a lot of the same jokes as the original. Top Secret! was also quite good, and remains one of my favorite parody movies. I enjoyed the original Police Squad! TV series, but the Naked Gun movies weren't quite as funny to me. I also like the first Hot Shots! movie a great deal.
But as time goes on, these parody movies just get less and less funny. The "____ Movie" series has its moments, but overall I can't recommend a single one. Instead of gag-a-minute, they seem to go for gag-every-five-minutes (then stretch it out for another 8), and half of those gags are cheap toilet humor. I'm not offended; it's just not funny. (I might not find it funny because I'm not offended, if that makes sense.) That kind of humor is just too easy, and it does nothing for me.
And now we have Vampires Suck:
Argh! I'm not one of those whiny internet critics who cries when Hollywood makes a movie they don't like. I don't mind the existence of bad movies, because usually I can just skip them. But this one annoys me because I want to see it! Granted, there's no shortage of Twilight parodies already out there, and this doesn't even look like one of the better ones. But I like the Twilight series just enough to want to see it parodied as often as possible. I just wish it would be clever! But it won't. But I'll see it anyway. Ugh.
EDIT: Here's a pretty good Cracked article on the subject of bad parodies.
How brilliant is it? Consider this: A large number of viewers don't even realize that the movie is almost a scene-by-scene parody of a movie called "Zero Hour!". They know it's based on some old airplane-related movies, but a lot of Airplane! fans never saw the specific film it spends most of the time mocking.
Yes, Airplane! would be even funnier to someone who's seen Zero Hour!, and actually got all the references they were making. But the humor in Airplane! is so well-done, you don't even need to have seen the source material to get a laugh. How many of Scary Movie's jokes would have still been funny to those who hadn't seen Scream? Hell, how many of Scary Movie's jokes were as funny as Airplane!, even to those who had seen Scream?
After Airplane!, there were very few movies that captured the same magic. Airplane II: The Sequel was almost as perfect, but to be fair, it did use a lot of the same jokes as the original. Top Secret! was also quite good, and remains one of my favorite parody movies. I enjoyed the original Police Squad! TV series, but the Naked Gun movies weren't quite as funny to me. I also like the first Hot Shots! movie a great deal.
But as time goes on, these parody movies just get less and less funny. The "____ Movie" series has its moments, but overall I can't recommend a single one. Instead of gag-a-minute, they seem to go for gag-every-five-minutes (then stretch it out for another 8), and half of those gags are cheap toilet humor. I'm not offended; it's just not funny. (I might not find it funny because I'm not offended, if that makes sense.) That kind of humor is just too easy, and it does nothing for me.
And now we have Vampires Suck:
Argh! I'm not one of those whiny internet critics who cries when Hollywood makes a movie they don't like. I don't mind the existence of bad movies, because usually I can just skip them. But this one annoys me because I want to see it! Granted, there's no shortage of Twilight parodies already out there, and this doesn't even look like one of the better ones. But I like the Twilight series just enough to want to see it parodied as often as possible. I just wish it would be clever! But it won't. But I'll see it anyway. Ugh.
EDIT: Here's a pretty good Cracked article on the subject of bad parodies.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
I'll skip the usual "abusive relationship" rant. You know, Edward's too controlling, Bella co-dependent, it's anti-feminist, yada yada yada. All the stuff that's a little more forgivable the way it's explained in the books, but even then isn't very healthy. Meh... I agree with a lot of it, but it's all been said, all over the internet. Let's just talk about the movie itself.
A full review would be useless at this point in the series. If you liked the first one enough to see the second one, then you're probably committed to the series. This property is such a "love it or hate it" sort of thing, that my opinion isn't going to persuade anyone.
That said, I didn't really care for it. It had some decent action scenes, and a few funny moments here and there. But... where do I begin? The acting was terrible, most of the dialogue was bland, the historical flashbacks weren't convincing, there were bits of my arch-nemesis the shaky-cam, and it was still 90% shallow angst and hard-to-swallow romance. Oh, and lots of posing: "Hey, let's all stand perfectly still and stare into the woods, it'll look great on a thermos later."
Also, the lighting was bad. Actually, no, the lighting was too good. There were a couple of scenes where it didn't look even remotely overcast, yet Edward was outside in front of muggles, sans sparkle.
I'm not sold on they way they showed vampires getting smashed during the fight scenes, like they were made out of marble. I know the books always described the vamps as being hard like stone, but on film it looked sort of silly. I realize that the good guys were hitting them incredibly hard to make them shatter like that, and it's supposed to make them look even tougher, but it actually made them look kind of fragile. Like if Edward were to fall down the stairs, he would break into a million sparkly pieces.
Anyway, I'm not a Twihard, and I'm not the movie's target demographic. So it's no surprise that I didn't really like it. The action scenes were nice, in fact they were my favorite scenes in the series so far. But everything else was just boring.
However...
To be honest, Twilight-haters are actually annoying me more than the Twilight Saga at the moment. Seriously, don't these people get tired of saying the same things over and over? Not to mention all the critics who obviously only watched the trailers, and the nit-pickers who must have missed large amounts of dialogue. "I hate how Edward is so rude to Bella when he first meets her!" Well, if you'd read the books or at least listened to the dialogue, you'd know why.
I read all four books, telling myself the entire time that I was only reading it so that I'd have ammo to insult it later. But to be honest, I really didn't have a bad time. It's not great, and I don't see how it got to be so popular, but it's not the unreadable rubbish people think it is. And I still respect the opinion of those who love it.
"Oh no! This series that I don't plan to watch or read isn't very good! Since not being into something popular makes me feel stupid, the only way I can cope is to convince other people not to like it! Waah!" Seriously dudes, you need to accept that different people like different things, and that's okay. Repeat after me: "I don't particularly care for (insert name of movie, tv show, sport, video game system, web browser, font, religion, or sexual position), but that doesn't mean it sucks. It just means that it's not for me. I'll let other people enjoy it if they want to."
So... yeah, I think I'll alienate both sides today.
I guess I should be glad that Hollywood finally gave these uncreative, whiny, pathetic, brain-dead losers something to cry about besides the Star Wars prequels. I ranted earlier about people who complain that remakes are ruining their childhood memories. (My opinion: If your memories are that easy to damage, you might want to see a neurologist. Or just don't watch the remakes.) Well, the same idiots are worried that Meyer's sparkly vampires are somehow going to erase all the previous vampire stories from their minds, or that the popularity of this series means that people will stop making non-sparkly vampire movies. Short answer: Quit worrying and grow up.
But most importantly, there are a lot of very intelligent people who happen to enjoy the Twilight series. They don't take it seriously, and they have noticed the same problems with the series that you like to moan about. But for whatever reason, they still enjoy the story. You probably know more of these people than you think, because they're afraid to admit it. You'll get less ribbing coming out of the closet as a transvestite furry LARPer than as an adult Twilight fan. So keep that in mind: when you go off on Twilight, you are insulting your friends. Keep it up, and you won't have any. (And knowing is half the battle.)
As long as we're on the subject of Twilight, I would like to give a free plug for Rifftrax, the best way to enjoy bad movies (and even some good ones). For those who don't know: Do you remember Mystery Science Theater 3000, the show where a guy and two robots made fun of bad sci-fi movies? Well, those same guys are at it again, except now they're riffing mainstream movies.
Since they can't get the rights for these movies as easily, you just buy the audio track with their comments. Simply play the Rifftrax MP3 while watching the DVD, and follow their instructions to sync them.
Well, one of the best Rifftrax is the one for Twilight. You can watch a sample here. I've watched that Rifftrax several times, and it never gets old. They also have one for New Moon, and I'm sure they'll have one for Eclipse the moment it hits DVD.
A full review would be useless at this point in the series. If you liked the first one enough to see the second one, then you're probably committed to the series. This property is such a "love it or hate it" sort of thing, that my opinion isn't going to persuade anyone.
That said, I didn't really care for it. It had some decent action scenes, and a few funny moments here and there. But... where do I begin? The acting was terrible, most of the dialogue was bland, the historical flashbacks weren't convincing, there were bits of my arch-nemesis the shaky-cam, and it was still 90% shallow angst and hard-to-swallow romance. Oh, and lots of posing: "Hey, let's all stand perfectly still and stare into the woods, it'll look great on a thermos later."
Also, the lighting was bad. Actually, no, the lighting was too good. There were a couple of scenes where it didn't look even remotely overcast, yet Edward was outside in front of muggles, sans sparkle.
I'm not sold on they way they showed vampires getting smashed during the fight scenes, like they were made out of marble. I know the books always described the vamps as being hard like stone, but on film it looked sort of silly. I realize that the good guys were hitting them incredibly hard to make them shatter like that, and it's supposed to make them look even tougher, but it actually made them look kind of fragile. Like if Edward were to fall down the stairs, he would break into a million sparkly pieces.
Anyway, I'm not a Twihard, and I'm not the movie's target demographic. So it's no surprise that I didn't really like it. The action scenes were nice, in fact they were my favorite scenes in the series so far. But everything else was just boring.
However...
To be honest, Twilight-haters are actually annoying me more than the Twilight Saga at the moment. Seriously, don't these people get tired of saying the same things over and over? Not to mention all the critics who obviously only watched the trailers, and the nit-pickers who must have missed large amounts of dialogue. "I hate how Edward is so rude to Bella when he first meets her!" Well, if you'd read the books or at least listened to the dialogue, you'd know why.
I read all four books, telling myself the entire time that I was only reading it so that I'd have ammo to insult it later. But to be honest, I really didn't have a bad time. It's not great, and I don't see how it got to be so popular, but it's not the unreadable rubbish people think it is. And I still respect the opinion of those who love it.
"Oh no! This series that I don't plan to watch or read isn't very good! Since not being into something popular makes me feel stupid, the only way I can cope is to convince other people not to like it! Waah!" Seriously dudes, you need to accept that different people like different things, and that's okay. Repeat after me: "I don't particularly care for (insert name of movie, tv show, sport, video game system, web browser, font, religion, or sexual position), but that doesn't mean it sucks. It just means that it's not for me. I'll let other people enjoy it if they want to."
So... yeah, I think I'll alienate both sides today.
I guess I should be glad that Hollywood finally gave these uncreative, whiny, pathetic, brain-dead losers something to cry about besides the Star Wars prequels. I ranted earlier about people who complain that remakes are ruining their childhood memories. (My opinion: If your memories are that easy to damage, you might want to see a neurologist. Or just don't watch the remakes.) Well, the same idiots are worried that Meyer's sparkly vampires are somehow going to erase all the previous vampire stories from their minds, or that the popularity of this series means that people will stop making non-sparkly vampire movies. Short answer: Quit worrying and grow up.
But most importantly, there are a lot of very intelligent people who happen to enjoy the Twilight series. They don't take it seriously, and they have noticed the same problems with the series that you like to moan about. But for whatever reason, they still enjoy the story. You probably know more of these people than you think, because they're afraid to admit it. You'll get less ribbing coming out of the closet as a transvestite furry LARPer than as an adult Twilight fan. So keep that in mind: when you go off on Twilight, you are insulting your friends. Keep it up, and you won't have any. (And knowing is half the battle.)
As long as we're on the subject of Twilight, I would like to give a free plug for Rifftrax, the best way to enjoy bad movies (and even some good ones). For those who don't know: Do you remember Mystery Science Theater 3000, the show where a guy and two robots made fun of bad sci-fi movies? Well, those same guys are at it again, except now they're riffing mainstream movies.
Since they can't get the rights for these movies as easily, you just buy the audio track with their comments. Simply play the Rifftrax MP3 while watching the DVD, and follow their instructions to sync them.
Well, one of the best Rifftrax is the one for Twilight. You can watch a sample here. I've watched that Rifftrax several times, and it never gets old. They also have one for New Moon, and I'm sure they'll have one for Eclipse the moment it hits DVD.
Remakes
I hear this a lot: "What's with all the remakes? Has Hollywood run out of ideas? They're raping my childhood memories!"
I really don't understand why people get so upset about remakes. I guarantee you, they're not going to stop selling the original movie just because a remake comes out. Remakes are not replacements.
Have you ever seen the same play twice, but performed by a different group at a different theater? Did you demand your money back because it wasn't the "real" cast? When you saw Romeo & Juliet, did you demand they resurrect the original actors who performed it in Shakespeare's time?
Personally, I love seeing how different directors & casts handle the same story. I've seen a couple of different productions of "Little Shop of Horrors", and I loved seeing how each one handled the complicated props, especially since they had vastly different budgets. With movies, I love comparing and contrasting the various versions, looking at what choices were made, what they decided to leave out (and theorizing as to why), whether the improved special effects adds to or detracts from the experience, and so on. Yes, some versions will be better than others. I fail to see how that ruins your childhood memories. In my experience, it enhances them. Sure, the Anne Heche version of Psycho was sort of dull and pointless... but it didn't overwrite my memory of the original, and makes me appreciate the old one that much more.
I hear the argument, "that's time they could have spent making an original movie." But do you really think the guy directing the "Fall Guy" movie is doing so because he turned down the next Godfather? I see no evidence that these guys would be cranking out masterpieces if only they weren't wasting their time on remakes. Besides, how often do you see original stories anyway? How many movies have you seen that were really just "Die Hard" but on a boat/plane/space/cave/cabin? Aren't remakes at least more honest?
So I say, bring on the remakes. I want to see a comedy version of Ben Hur. I want to see the cast of Seinfeld perform My Fair Lady. I want to see Star Wars performed in the nude. I want to see a sock puppet version of The Birds. I want to see Jack Black play Atticus Finch. I want to see a version of King Kong performed by chimps, with the only human playing the title role. If I don't like the look of one, I'll skip it, but I won't cry that it got made.
(Okay, I'll admit my examples were tongue-in-cheek. I wouldn't actually pay to see any of those, except possibly the Star Wars one, if only to see how they handle the "disguise themselves as Stormtroopers" scene.)
And I would love it if Hollywood would do the following project: Write one script (one with a lot of room for interpretation), then give it to 10 different directors/casts, and see how the different versions turn out.
I really don't understand why people get so upset about remakes. I guarantee you, they're not going to stop selling the original movie just because a remake comes out. Remakes are not replacements.
Have you ever seen the same play twice, but performed by a different group at a different theater? Did you demand your money back because it wasn't the "real" cast? When you saw Romeo & Juliet, did you demand they resurrect the original actors who performed it in Shakespeare's time?
Personally, I love seeing how different directors & casts handle the same story. I've seen a couple of different productions of "Little Shop of Horrors", and I loved seeing how each one handled the complicated props, especially since they had vastly different budgets. With movies, I love comparing and contrasting the various versions, looking at what choices were made, what they decided to leave out (and theorizing as to why), whether the improved special effects adds to or detracts from the experience, and so on. Yes, some versions will be better than others. I fail to see how that ruins your childhood memories. In my experience, it enhances them. Sure, the Anne Heche version of Psycho was sort of dull and pointless... but it didn't overwrite my memory of the original, and makes me appreciate the old one that much more.
I hear the argument, "that's time they could have spent making an original movie." But do you really think the guy directing the "Fall Guy" movie is doing so because he turned down the next Godfather? I see no evidence that these guys would be cranking out masterpieces if only they weren't wasting their time on remakes. Besides, how often do you see original stories anyway? How many movies have you seen that were really just "Die Hard" but on a boat/plane/space/cave/cabin? Aren't remakes at least more honest?
So I say, bring on the remakes. I want to see a comedy version of Ben Hur. I want to see the cast of Seinfeld perform My Fair Lady. I want to see Star Wars performed in the nude. I want to see a sock puppet version of The Birds. I want to see Jack Black play Atticus Finch. I want to see a version of King Kong performed by chimps, with the only human playing the title role. If I don't like the look of one, I'll skip it, but I won't cry that it got made.
(Okay, I'll admit my examples were tongue-in-cheek. I wouldn't actually pay to see any of those, except possibly the Star Wars one, if only to see how they handle the "disguise themselves as Stormtroopers" scene.)
And I would love it if Hollywood would do the following project: Write one script (one with a lot of room for interpretation), then give it to 10 different directors/casts, and see how the different versions turn out.
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