Flash Gordon

I just watched the 1980 version of Flash Gordon for the first time since I was a kid.  I didn't think it would hold up, but I enjoyed every minute of it.  It's cheesy and campy and all-around dumb, but it definitely fits in the "so bad it's good" category.  

I've said it before, but I like bad movies as much as good movies, as long as they aren't boring.  Flash Gordon "fails" in almost every category across the board - bad dialogue, bad acting, bad script, bad science, bad special effects, and so on.  It leans so close to self-parody that I can't decide if it's supposed to be a comedy.  

Special shout-out to BRIAN BLESSED for stealing every scene he's in with his hammy bellowing.  Also, I noticed Rocky Horror's Richard O'Brien was in it, so that's kind of cool.  The soundtrack, while repetitive, is as awesome as ever.

I was amazed at how much I remembered, but I had also forgotten a large amount of it.  I was surprised at how quickly Dale Arden fell for Flash; I had thought their relationship was more of a Han/Leia "snark until they kiss" kind of thing.  Also, not having seen the movie since I was 7, I caught a lot of innuendo I didn't catch before.  

But I remembered most of the important scenes, like Flash sticking his hand in a stump as part of a ritual, the fight to the death on a tilting platform, and the teaser at the end where someone grabs Ming's ring.  

Anyway, if you like having a "bad movie night" now and then, this is an excellent candidate.

Beach Buggy Racing 2

In 2018 I reviewed Beach Buggy Racing, one of the best budget kart racers around.  Earlier this year we picked up Beach Buggy Racing 2.  It's a big improvement, but only if you put in the time to tweak the rules.

What's improved:  More tracks, more drivers, more weapons, tweaked weapons, the ability to carry two powerups at once, more customization, and a ton of graphical upgrades including night/day effects.  There's also a Hot Wheels themed DLC with some of the best tracks yet.

What's infuriating:  The enemy AI at higher levels is godlike to the point that the game is no longer fun.  You know what?  This is my blog, so of course it's time to ramble.  Twenty years ago there was a Mortal Kombat 3 port for the Gameboy Advance.  MKA was widely panned for having poor controls and limited characters, but one of the biggest criticisms it faced was insanely cheap AI.

Imagine playing rock/paper/scissors with against a computer.  Except instead of making its choice randomly, the computer just waits to see what you pick, and instantly responds with whichever choice beats yours.  Fun, right?  Well, that's how MKA was programmed.  You fire high, it ducks.  You fire low, it jumps.  You punch, it blocks.  You let your guard down, it hits you.  It was so good at executing the perfect counter to whatever you did, it was basically like your joypad was controlling both you and the opponent simultaneously.

Beach Buggy Racing 2 has four speeds: 100, 250, 500, and 1000.  Because we played BBR1 for a couple of years on the 1000 speed, we have to select that speed now or the game feels like it's playing in slow motion.  But here's the thing - under the default rules, BBR2 ties the AI to the speed.  So in order to play at the speed we're used to, we have to play against the hardest AI.

And by "hardest AI", I mean cheapest.  And by cheapest, I mean the computer is a cheating bastard.  In any given Mario Kart game, it's always annoying when you spend 90% of the race at #1, then get taken out by a blue shell in the final stretch.  But it doesn't happen every race, and it keeps one player from dominating the circuit, so it's all in good fun.  But in BBR2, every single damn time I'm in the lead, I get hit by multiple weapons on the final stretch.

It would be one thing if these were weapons I could learn to avoid.  I'd be perfectly happy if it was just a "git gud" kind of situation, where I had to develop the skills to dodge these weapons.  But you can't.  Sure, the weapons have a sound effect, but without the ability to see behind you, you can't effectively dodge them.  Not to mention several of the weapons are homing, and some are just too fast to dodge.

And it's not just when you're about to win.  One of the reasons racing games are so fun is the feeling of speed.  But in BBR2 at the fastest setting, you don't get to feel the speed that much.  Because you're constantly getting hit with items that slow you down, spin you out, knock you off cliffs, and so on.  So instead of long stretches where you feel the wind going through your virtual hair, it's more like race, pause, race, pause, race, pause... and it really isn't fun.

Another problem I have is that, well, I just don't believe that the enemies have actually picked up the weapons they use.  Like, I'll shoot at an enemy vehicle, and it immediately uses an invincibility powerup to counter it.  They just happened to be carrying an invincibility powerup that they hadn't used yet.  No, I don't believe it.  It happens too often to be a coincidence - they really are using powerups they never picked up.

But!  This is where customization saves the day.  The game includes several optional rulesets, and the ability to save your own custom set of rules.  I personally had to turn off the "link AI to speed" feature, then lower the AI all the way down to the lowest setting.  That way I can race at the fastest setting without constantly fending off unstoppable murderbots.  Unfortunately, doing so prevents you from unlocking a few cars, but them's the breaks.

So if you like kart racers, do buy this game, especially if you can get it on sale.  But if you find the difficulty a bit off-putting, take the time to customize the rules to your liking.  There is a wonderful gem of a game in here, but only if you take the time to fix it.

Life is Strange: True Colors

I just finished playing through Life is Strange: True Colors, and I couldn't be more satisfied.  It's not a perfect game, and it's not even my favorite in the series, but it is probably the best written of the four games.  

Minor spoilers ahead - I'll avoid major plot points.  I will mention the nature of the ending but not the specifics.  You might want to avoid looking at the screenshots.

The high points: The voice acting, the facial expressions, and the script.  Previous Life is Strange games had dialogue that even fans sometimes referred to as "cringe".  While I don't fully agree, I at least understand where they're coming from.  The dialogue in this one felt more natural.

The facial expressions were spot on, which is important for a game about emotions.  The main character, Alex Chen, was particularly expressive.  She had some of the best facial motion capture I've ever seen.

The scenery is beautiful.  It simultaneously feels more open world and more restrictive than previous games in the series - most of the chapters give you free reign of Main Street, but the number of locations you visit is probably the smallest in the series.  But while the area is small, it's an idyllic setting that make me long to visit Colorado.

Your choices matter.  You're a newcomer to a small town, and you need to get to know the other townsfolk.  You have to build relationships if you want them to stand with you later.

And Steph.  Just Steph.  I want to marry her, and I want to be her.  She's easily my favorite character in the series, and it was nice to see her in a larger role.

The low points:  The supernatural power this time feels a bit low key compared to the previous games.  Alex has the power to read people's emotions, and skim their surface thoughts.  Compared to LiS1's time rewinding, or LiS2's telekinesis, it's not nearly as impactful.  But the game makes good use of it.

The plot is a bit slow, and the conversations are very wordy.  In a way, it helps, because this is a game about building friendships and learning about the citizens of your new hometown.  But it also feels like there's a lot of padding to make the game longer.  Maybe it's because it was released all at once (instead of episodically like earlier games in the series), but it seems a lot shorter than the other games.

My favorite scene in LiS: Before the Storm was when you got to act in a school play.  A good portion of the story built up to the play, and it had a great payoff.  True Colors does something similar with a LARP event.  Unfortunately, I found the LARP to be a little bit tedious and more complicated than it needed to be.  It was a fun scene, but it just went on a little long.  

There is a huge difference, graphically, between the main characters and the extras.  While Alex is almost photorealistic, some of the other characters look like they were carved out of wood.  There's one guy who looks exactly like the plastic Santa robot from The Santa Clause 2.  It's funny when a group of people are in the same room, because the differences between the low res characters and high res characters really stand out.

Also, the game is full of graphical glitches, at least on the version I played (PS4).  There was some serious pop-in during scene transitions, and sometimes sections of the screen would go black when Alex was using her powers.  Hopefully these issues will get patched out soon.  Oh, and the load times are insane.

The ending:  Like the other games in the series, the ending does present you with a binary choice.  However, this happened after the climax, so it was more like deciding which "happily ever after" you wanted to see.  The actual climax reminded me of the courtroom scene in Chrono Trigger, with your previous interactions with the townsfolk determining which ones support you in your hour of need.

Screenshots:

My Choices: