Super Mario Bros Movies

Picture it, Cookeville, 1993. I open up the latest issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly and learn that they're making a Super Mario Bros movie. I'm both excited and wary. Movies based on video games were almost unheard of. There were a few game-adjacent movies, like Tron, Cloak & Dagger, and The Wizard. But as far as I know (and Wikipedia agrees), there hadn't been a theatrical film directly based on an existing video game.

It sounded like a bad idea. It wasn't like the SMB games had very deep plots. But if it did well, it would open the door for better game-based movies. Like Legend of Zelda, or dare I hope... Metroid?

The movie came out in May of 1993, and it was seven kinds of awful. Arguably it was "so bad it's good," but that kind of thing varies from person to person. It was very goofy. Half the time it tried way too hard to include elements from the games, like giving them jumping shoes. But it also changed too much from the games, like making the goombas lizards.

Anyway, some people my age have fuzzy nostalgic feelings for the 1993 movie, but objectively it's pretty bad. It's not faithful enough to the games to appeal to gamers, and non-gamers would just find it a confusing waste of film. But given the source material, if you'd asked me at the time, I would have thought it was impossible to make a good SMB movie.

In 2023 they released an animated SMB movie. I thought it was okay. Harmless and forgettable, but there were a few good laughs in there. There was some controversy at the time about casting Chris Pratt as Mario, but I thought he did an okay job. Overall I'm glad I saw it, but it didn't rock my world.

Today I saw The Super Mario Galaxy Movie. It was really fun. It had lots - I mean lots- of references and Easter eggs, some pretty obscure. I don't think there's a single Mario game that doesn't get some sort of nod. There's direct references to SMB2, Super Mario Odyssey, Yoshi's Island, even Super Mario Maker. And then there's peripherals like R.O.B. and the Super Scope 6. And there's references to other games like StarFox and Metroid. With all these references, it's almost like a Nintendo version of Ready Player One.

The movie is getting its share of hate, but I'm not sure why. Sure it's kind of shallow, but the last thing I want is a deep Mario movie. Some are complaining that it messes up the canon by (spoiler alert) making Peach and Rosalina sisters. But Nintendo has declared numerous times that the Mario games don't have a canon. Mario and company are merely digital actors, which explains why Bowser's trying to kill Mario one week, then playing tennis with him the next. If you're looking for continuity in Mario games, you're paying too much attention.

Bottom line is, Super Mario Galaxy is a great time if you're a Nintendo fan. It's fun for kids, with lots of nostalgia points for video game geezers like me.

My Favorite Games Redux

A couple of years ago, I posted a list of my all-time favorite games. While that list still holds up, I think it represents more of what I consider my "ideal" favorite games, rather than the games I would actually go back and play again.

I mean sure, I still consider Super Metroid to be the best video game of all time. But a lot of that is nostalgia and a general fondness for the game's universe. Realistically - here, now, and today - would I really be more likely to sit down and play Super Metroid than something more contemporary?  Probably not.

 

So here's my new list. The following games are ones that I actually keep going back to, sometimes years apart. Most of these are games I've purchased and played on multiple consoles or computers, and have owned both physically and digitally. These are the games I would take if was stranded alone on a deserted island. These are the games I would save if a computer virus threatened to wipe out all other games from existence.

 

Most of these also appeared on my previous list, but this time they're in a different order. For the most part, I will only include one entry from a series. This is because some sequels make the earlier games in the series obsolete. I put months of my life into The Sims 3, but I never touched it again once I started playing The Sims 4.

 

I'm going to focus on single player games for this list. Sure, Street Fighter II has earned its place in video game history, and we all have fond memories of the original Gauntlet. But the truth is, I don't game with friends very often. And when I do, we usually just gravitate to whatever multiplayer game is newest, rather than going back to the classics. Heck, offline multiplayer games don't even have to be good, they just have to enhance the time we spend together.

 

I'm also not including any puzzle games like Tetris or Bejeweled, even though I've put a lot of time into them. When it comes to single player puzzle games, I tend to think of them as ways to pass the time in a waiting room, and I'm just as likely to try a new one as I am to replay an old favorite.

 

I'm also excluding compilation games (like Super Mario All-Stars or Mega Man Legacy Collection) because I feel like that would be cheating. Individual games only.

 

Anyway, that's enough exposition. On with the list!

 

 

15. Dungeon Siege

    Owned on: PC (Disc/Steam)

    This is just mindless point-and-click fun. The sequels are better, and Torchlight outshines the Dungeon Siege series in every way, but there's something about the simplicity of the original Dungeon Siege that makes me want to reinstall it now and then. This is an RPG for when I don't have time for an RPG, and just want to cut a swath of destruction through enemy hordes.

       

14. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

    Owned on: XBox, PC (Disc/Steam)

    I've installed and played through this game several times. The graphics haven't aged well, but remasters are coming, and I do intend to play through it again. This is the best non-theatrical Star Wars story I've seen, with a twist every bit as mind-blowing as the one in Empire Strikes Back.

 

13. Bionic Commando (NES Version)

    Owned on: NES, Gameboy, GBA (In "Capcom Classics Mini-Mix"), 360 and PC (Steam): "Rearmed" Version

    While I may have blasted the arcade version, the NES version of Bionic Commando is a delightful classic. It helps that it's been remade with better graphics, but even the NES version still has its charm. This is weird, but I've always had a thing for grappling hooks, ever since Luke used one in the first Star Wars movie. Video games with grappling hooks are especially fun, and Bionic Commando uses its grab-and-swing mechanic to great success.

 

12. Life is Strange

    Owned on: PS4, PC (Steam/GOG)

    It was difficult to restrain myself from putting multiple Life is Strange games on this list. It was even harder to decide which one deserved the spot most. The prequel has some of my favorite scenes, and the newest one has the best script, but ultimately I'm going to have to go with the original. It has the best plot, with all the time travel and the gut-wrenching decisions.

 

11. Dragon Age: Origins

    Owned on: 360, PC (Steam/Origin)

    Dragon Age is basically Knights of the Old Republic in a medieval fantasy world. But it ends up being way more exciting, IMO. I've played through this one at least four times, and I could easily see going through it again.

 

10. Super Metroid

    Owned on: SNES, Wii (Virtual Console), SNES Classic

    I've been in love with the Metroid series ever since I first found out Samus Aran's true identity. I love the sci-fi setting, the upgradable power armor, and the exploration. However, the original game has aged badly, and some of the later games leaned into aspects I don't enjoy, such as overly-long boss fights. Super Metroid, the third game in the series, is the best compromise between graphics and classic gameplay. Honestly it was a bit of a toss-up between this and Zero Mission, but the SNES holds a special place in my heart. I often say that Super Metroid is my all-time favorite game, but as you can see there are other games I'd be more likely to pick up and play.

   

9. Mega Man 2

   Owned on: NES, 3DS/PC (Steam): in "Mega Man Legacy Collection"

   Capcom always knew how to get the most out of the NES. The Mega Man games had vibrant colors, memorable character designs, and a creative premise. You have a character who can absorb his enemies' weapons, you can tackle the stages in any order, and you have near perfect controls. The Mega Man games are some of the most solid side-scrolling action games in the history of video games. And for my money, Mega Man 2 was the pinnacle of the series. It had great stage design and some of the most interesting bosses. Later Mega Man games sometimes felt like they were just going through the motions, but Mega Man 2 is inspired.

 

8. Final Fantasy VI

   Owned on: SNES, GBA, PC (Steam), SNES Classic, Android

   This was the first console RPG I really liked. I'd always shied away from games like Ultima and Dragon Warrior because they looked boring. At the time I felt like video games should test your manual dexterity, and having your attacks based on math just sounded dull. But then I read a glowing review of Final Fantasy III (the American name of FFVI for the SNES), and it convinced me to at least rent it. It seriously blew me away. The way these primitive little sprites could convey so much emotion, the sheer enormity of the plot, the huge variety in the way different characters worked... it all added up to something huge. And not to mention the length. Just when you think you've beaten the game, the bad guy shows up and destroys the world, and you realize... this game's only half over.

 

7. Crazy Climber

   Owned on: PS4

   This is one of the few games on this list that I've only bought once, but it's not for lack of trying. Crazy Climber was the first arcade game I really fell in love with as a child. I must have really tested my parents' patience, always making them drive across town for the one arcade that had Crazy Climber in it. I always wanted it for home consoles, even though I knew it would lose part of its charm - without twin joysticks, it just wouldn't have been the same game. It didn't matter, though, since it never seemed to come out for any consoles I owned. I'm just glad that when I finally managed to play it again as an adult, it was on a system with twin joysticks. And it holds up. Sure, the graphics are positively ancient, but like Pac-Man and Dig Dug, the visuals are exactly as good as they need to be. It was one of the first games I bought for my PS4, and I still keep coming back to it now and then.

 

6. Super Mario World

   Owned on: SNES, Wii (Virtual Console), SNES Classic

   I knew there had to be a Mario game on this list, but it was hard to decide which one. I didn't want to include Mario Maker because I consider it a multiplayer game - one of the best motivations to design cool levels is to show them off to other people. So it really boiled down to Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World. But I have found over the years that I am a little bit more likely to go back and play Super Mario World. The controls are tight, the graphics are colorful, and every level is just pure, undistilled fun.

 

5. Chrono Trigger

   Owned on: SNES, DS, PC (Steam), Android

   Where do I even begin? Time travel! Multiple endings! Double and Triple Techs! A "New Game Plus" feature that gives the game infinite replayability! A lot of JRPGs lose their charm once you beat them, but Chrono Trigger is one of those games I can keep playing forever. It never hit me emotionally as much as the Final Fantasy games, but it's so much more fun. Honestly, in what other game can your party consist of a robot, a cavewoman, and a frog?

 

4. Super Castlevania IV

   Owned on: SNES, Wii (Virtual Console), SNES Classic, PS4/PC (Steam): in "Castlevania Anniversary Collection"

   Oddly, this is probably one of the less popular Castlevania games. It's not as nostalgia-inducing as the NES games, and it's not a "Metroidvania" like some of the other games in the series. It's basically a generic action game with a Castlevania theme. And I love that. There's no story to get bogged down in, there's no running back and forth to collect powerups, it's just a fun afternoon whipping monsters. It has gorgeous graphics and an excellent soundtrack. The controls are fantastic, with a multi-directional whip you can even use like a grappling hook in some places. It's just a solid platformer that I can pick up and play whenever I want.

 

3. Saints Row IV

   Owned on: PC (Steam), PS4

   This is one of the newer games to make this list, but I think it will stand the test of time. I believe this because before I tried the Saints Row series, I was resintalling GTA3 and/or Vice City every few years. But SR4 outshines those GTA games in every possible way, and it adds character customization, humor, and sci-fi elements. Open world games always have more replay value than other games, and SR4 is the best GTA-style game I've played. It's one of those games where I can spend hours driving around town or jumping from building to building, ignoring actual missions in favor of self-imposed challenges.

 

2. The Sims 4

   Owned on: PC (Origin)

   The Sims games have always been a guilty pleasure. In no other game can I spend so much time accomplishing nothing. It's one of those games I can play for an entire weekend, sun up to sun down, and then not play again for a year. The first Sims game came out more than 20 years ago, and I would bet good money that I've played a Sims game at least once a year ever since that first release. When your real life is having a downturn, nothing beats living vicariously through your digital avatars.

 

1. Skyrim

   Owned on: PC (Steam), PS4

   I know people tend to think that Skyrim is overhyped, or has at least outworn its welcome, but honestly? It's the one game I can always go back to, time after time. It's my comfort game. I've beaten the main storyline at least twice, spent hundreds of hours on sidequests, and yet I'm positive I've only seen half the game. I can't tell you how much time I've spent just running through the countryside, seeing what pops up. Admittedly the actual dungeons are a bit repetitive, but I can always find something to do that keeps me entertained.

 

 

And there you have it. Sometimes I don't think I know myself as much as I should. I've spent a lot of money buying classic games, trying to recapture my youth, only to see those games gather virtual dust in my Steam account. But the above list represents my actual gaming habits, not counting the weekly matches of "Beach Buggy Racing 2" and "Puyo Puyo Tetris 2" I play with my wife, or the solitaire I play on my phone when I go to the doctor.

 

Just those last three games - Saints Row IV, Sims 4, and Skyrim - could probably keep me satisfied for many more years, especially if I have access to mods. Sure, new games are nice, but there's something about replaying old favorites that just makes me feel whole.

My So-Called Gaming Cred

Note: I have an updated version of this list here.

My All-Time Favorite Games:
That's hard to answer, because I like such variety of genres.  Here's the ones I've enjoyed most.  To keep this list from filling up with Metroid sequels, I’m arranging it more by genre.  For each game, I've listed Runners-Up for similar games that also took a lot of my time.

13. Life is Strange (Best Storytelling Game)
Runner-Up: Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders

12. Gauntlet (Best Multiplayer Dungeon Crawl)
Runners-Up: Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance, Dungeon Siege

11. Super Mario World (Best Action Platformer Starring A Plumber)
Runners-Up: Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario Maker

10. Silent Hill 2 (Best Horror)
Runner-Up: Resident Evil 2

9. Mario Kart 8 (Best Racing Game For People Who Don't Like Actual Racing Games)
Runner-Up: Mario Kart 64

8. Dragon Age (Best RPG That's Not Skyrim)
Runner-Up: Knights of the Old Republic, NeverWinter Nights

7. Injustice: Gods Among Us (Best Fighting Game)
Runners-Up: Mortal Kombat 9, Marvel Vs Capcom 2

6. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (Best Action Adventure Not-Quite RPG)
Runners-Up: LOZ: A Link Between Worlds, LOZ: Ocarina of Time

5. The Sims 4 (Best Time Suck While Wishing I Lived In A Computer)
Runner-Up: The Sims 3

4. Skyrim (Best Immersive First Person RPG)
Runner-Up: Oblivion

3. Chrono Trigger (Best JRPG That Isn't A Final Fantasy Game)
Runner-Up: Earthbound

2. Final Fantasy 6 (Best JRPG Period Hands Down)
Runner-Up: Final Fantasy 7

1. Super Metroid (Best Sci-Fi Action Platformer)
Runners-Up: Metroid Zero Mission, Bionic Commando, Mega Man 2

I've probably missed a few in there but overall I think I've hit the most important ones.

I would define myself as a gamer.  I was practically born with a controller in my hand.  My earliest memories involve arcade games like Asteroids and Space Invaders.  Gaming continues to be my favorite hobby, even if I don't have time to do it as much as I used to.

I've owned the following systems at one time or another: Atari 2600, TRS-80, Commodore 64, Commodore Amiga, 8-bit Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Sony Playstation, Playstation 2, Playstation 4, Wii, Wii U, X-Box 360, Gameboy, Gameboy Advance SP, Sega Game Gear, and Nintendo 3DS.  Yes I'm including old computers in the list because I used them almost exclusively for video games.  Note that these consoles were new when I had them (as opposed to the modern trend of collecting retro systems).  I also play pencil-and-paper RPGs.

Unfortunately, the modern usage of "gamer" brings to mind sexist guys with neckbeards and fedoras, who only play macho games like Call of Duty.  When I was a kid, gamers weren't respected because video games were considered new and evil.  But today, gamers aren't respected because we're often judged by the loudest of us.  Too many people think all gamers are like the whiny MRAs on GameFAQs, because they get the most media attention.

But really, is anyone not a gamer at this point?  Even my elders are constantly playing Candy Crush on their phones these days, while still looking down at the younger generations for being addicted to computer screens.  When I call myself a gamer, it's not just because I like video games, it's because they've been such a big part of my life that they're part of my psychological makeup.  It's because I think about the stories behind games even when I'm not playing them.  Heck, I used to draw comic books based on Metroid.

So even thought I'm not particularly good at video games, and even though I rarely own the newest systems or play the most popular games, I'm definitely a gamer.

Things I like in a game:

1. Customization.  I love to design my own character.  Some game companies put too much thought into designing a marketable main character, when I’m happier with a generic one that I designed myself.  This is kind of what killed the GTA series for me.  In GTA 3 you were a nameless, voiceless thug, but there was a code that let you look like other NPCs in the game.  But later GTA games put too much work into making your character memorable, when all I wanted was to choose my appearance.

2. If deep customization isn’t available, at least give us multiple characters to choose from.  Bonus points if at least one of the characters is female.  I'm about 50% more likely to stick with a game if I can play as a female character.

3. I like games I can break.  I don’t play games for the challenge, I just want to see what happens next.  I don’t like dying and replaying the same levels a lot.  I love it when I can find armor that makes me nearly invincible, or weapons that let me dominate my foes.  After a stressful day at work there’s nothing more fun than mowing down a swarm of enemies.

4. Easy to stop and resume.  This is a more recent thing, as I’ve gotten older and don’t have as much time to play.  I don’t want there to be hours between save points.  I don’t want a plot so complicated that I can’t remember what I was doing if I don’t play for a week.  If the game has quests, I want a journal system that helps me remember them, and a map system that makes it easy to find my next target.  Skyrim was excellent about this.


My Favorite Genres:
I mostly like RPGs, Fighting, Sci-Fi Action, Horror, and Platformers.  However, I'm pretty selective about what games I see through to the end.  These days I tend to buy a lot of cheap games on Steam, then play most of them for about 2 minutes before trying something else.  Maybe one out of 50 games sticks with me, and I'll play it for years.  As much as I love RPGs, I just don't have time to pay attention to long plots any more.  But I do love mindless dungeon crawlers like Torchlight and Dungeon Siege.

Games I've Played the Most:
According to Steam, my most played game is Skyrim, with 148 hours as of this writing.  Of course, that's only Steam games.  I'm sure I've at least that much into The Sims 3, and my Wii U says I've put over 100 hours into Super Mario Maker.  Also, back when I used to host a NeverWinter Nights server, I probably put more hours into NWN than any other game in my life.  And back when I first discovered the internet, I put hundreds of hours into on online game called JediMUD.

JRPGs or Western RPGs?
I like RPGs, but I am picky about them.  I can only name a handful that I’ve played to the end, but those few I’ve played through multiple times.  So I’m very loyal to a small number of RPGs.  I like Western RPGs because they’re more likely to have customizable characters.  I like Japanese RPGs because of the creative characters and stories.  So I would say I’m about 50/50.

Multiplayer:
I’ve loved multiplayer games since the original Gauntlet, but I dislike competitive online shooters.  My favorite multiplayer games are basically Gauntlet derivations: Torchlight, Baldur’s Gate Dark Alliance, Dungeon Siege, and other mindless dungeon crawlers.  I don’t play a lot of these games any more because I don’t see my friends as often, and they never have the same game systems as me.

Consoles or PCs:
This used to be an easy question.  While I had a few gaming computers in the 8-bit era, most of my life has been about consoles.  I really liked how console games were plug-and-play, and you didn't have to worry if your machine had the right specs.  Shove the cartridge in, and you're playing the game within 30 seconds.  But modern consoles are just as bad as PCs about installing games and downloading updates.  And computer games are cool because you can install mods.  So at this point in my life I'd have to say I like both equally.

Favorite System:
The Super Nintendo is hands-down my favorite system of all time.  A lot of that is nostalgia.  It was the first system I earned with my own money, and it came out at just the right time of my life.  The SNES controller is also one of my all-time favorite controllers.

If I were stranded on a deserted island and could only take one game, what would it be?
Probably Skyrim.  There’s just so much to do.  There are several games I like better, but those games are only good for one playthrough every couple of years.  Skyrim consistently surprises me with new areas the more I explore it.  Between the PS4 and the PC, I’ve put more than 200 hours into this game, and I still haven’t seen everything.

NES Remix vs What I Really Want In A Retro Game

NES Remix is a series of games for the Wii U and the 3DS, which allow you to play snippets of 8-bit Nintendo games.  So far there have been three games in the series: NES Remix 1 & 2 for the Wii U (available for download separately or as a compilation disc), and Ultimate NES Remix for the 3DS (which is basically a "best of" compilation of the Wii U games).  The bulk of each game is a bunch of minigame challenges, where you try to get the best time while performing a task in a classic game.  For example, you might have to collect 10 coins in level 4-1 of Super Mario Bros, or you might have to counter Bald Bull's charge in Punch-Out!, or you might have to find a secret cave in The Legend of Zelda.

Completing these tasks earns you stars, which unlock the Remix levels, which is where the game really shines.  The Remix levels mix up elements from classic games.  You might play a level of Donkey Kong using Link (who can't jump), or try to collect coins in Super Mario Bros while controlling Samus Aran, or control Toad in a Zelda II level.  But it's not all about crossovers, some of the Remix levels just take normal levels and play around with the formula.  You might play a level of Super Mario Bros in reverse, or at a super high speed, or with the screen constantly going dark.  The game forces you to remember muscle memory you haven't used in 30 years, then it mixes it up so you can't even rely on that muscle memory.  It's very creative and always keeps you wondering what the next level is going to be.

But is it fun?
Well, I love nostalgia.  Playing these games brings me back to the 80s, and the Remixed levels are especially neat.  But I can't tell you how many times I've gotten 3 stars on a challenge, and thought "Thank goodness I never have to do that again."  When a video game has you thinking things like that, something is wrong.  I love the concept, and it's something I really wanted when I was a kid.  But the challenges I really like are few and far between, and there's very little replay value in the others.

Here's what I would have liked to have seen:
Something along the lines of the browser-based game "Super Mario Bros Crossover".  Instead of microgames, I'd like to see a full platform game, where different levels are based on different side scroller games.  You'd have a few Mario levels, a few Metroid levels, a few Zelda II levels, and so on.  At the start of each level you'd pick a character, so you could have any Nintendo character/level combination.  The different characters would control differently and have their own skills and abilities.

But I run risk of judging Remix based on what I want instead of what it is.  As it is, the NES Remix games are nostalgia-filled fun, but more remix challenges could have made it a lot better.

Samus Aran: Chozo?

On my personal blog I recently made a post about whether or not Samus Aran was transgender.  But while writing it, one little thing bothered me and I thought I'd expand it into a full blog.  Plus I just really like babbling about Metroid.

I first played Metroid in 1986.  I immediately fell in love with the universe, even though not many details were actually given.  The instruction booklet had some info about space pirates, the Galactic Federation Police, and other events leading up to the game, but that's about it.  I scanned all other media for more information, and I accepted whatever I found as canon.  One Nintendo magazine said that Samus used to be an acrobat.  Boom, canon.  Kid Icarus had an alternate version of Metroids called Komaytos.  Boom, shared universe canon.

I was convinced there were further secrets in the game if only I explored hard enough.  There were so many secret areas (actually glitches) you could reach by letting doors close on you and climbing up through the walls.  I just knew if I found the right one, I'd get to see more of the story.  One of the secret codes was "Justin Bailey" - I was sure that was the name of another character in the Metroid universe.

While there were elements of Metroid in other media (such as the silly "Captain N" cartoon), real canon information would not be forthcoming until the release of Metroid 2 in 1991.  Until then, I had to make up my own story.  So, I drew my own comics.  First I drew pictures of every enemy in the game.  I drew and defined several different types of metroids, basing them off the instruction booklet, their appearance in the game, and even other fan art.  Then I started drawing my own original enemies and allies.

In 1989 I drew a really bad comic book adaptation of the Metroid game.  I followed this with two additional issues, the second of which was a collection of short stories.  At one point it crossed over with another sci-fi comic I was drawing, The Bounty Hunters (which starred Boba Fett).  Finally I combined both universes into one, with a series called "Space Stories". I continued drawing Space Stories all throughout high school, college, and a bit beyond.

In my universe, the Space Pirates were humans, who dressed like ancient Earth pirates despite their futuristic technology.  If I'd known how they'd eventually look in Super Metroid, I would gladly have gone with that instead, because my designs were ridiculously silly.  My version of Samus Aran had green hair, because that's what she looked like when I played her in the game.  When I later realized that her hair's only green because of the Varia suit, I threw in a line about her dying it green.

So yeah, the lack of real canon, combined with my own dumb ideas, made me write a lot of crazy things.  Now, I loved the next two sequels - Metroid 2 (Gameboy, 1991) and Super Metroid (SNES, 1994), but they didn't really expand the universe much.  Goofy as it was, my comics were still the best canon I had.  So, when Nintendo finally got around to fleshing out Samus Aran's universe, in some ways it was already too late.  I'm glad they made the effort, but the results didn't always make me happy.

For one thing, they finally gave Samus an official look for when she's out of uniform.  There had been several shots of her unarmored form before, in strategy guides and issues of Nintendo Power, and of course at the end of the various games.  But none of these were consistent; they all just looked like someone told the artist, "Draw a woman."  It wasn't until her "Zero Suit" that they all started drawing her the same way, and I can't say I love the result.  I was hoping for someone sort of butch, attractive but still tough looking.  Instead we got a blonde centerfold with bosoms that defy gravity.  I've grown to accept it (I even main ZSS in Smash Bros), but it's definitely not what I would have chosen.

And then there's her personality in "Other M"... Okay, I'm not going to go into too much detail here, because the internet's already full of bad Other M reviews.  The gist is that Samus acted way too subservient in that game.  To be fair, it's possible they were doomed from the start.  Samus Aran had been around for 24 years by that point, and the earlier games didn't really show much of her personality.  During that time different players had built up different ideas of what her personality was like, and when Other M didn't line up with their headcanon, it felt like betrayal.  But that's just a possible explanation, not an excuse.  It really isn't a very good game so don't look to me to defend it.


But the thing the bothered me the most was...  the manga.  I'm sorry, I know that's sacrilege for some people.  But the "raised by Chozo" thing really ruined my headcanon.  Okay, some background for those who don't know what I'm talking about.  In the original Metroid, you occasionally find powerups held by statues of strange bird people, called Chozo.  In the manga, it is explained that Samus was orphaned as a child, and raised by Chozo.  They trained her to be a good fighter, and infused her with technology.  This explains why their weapons are compatible with her suit.

It's not a terrible explanation, but here's my problem.  When I played through the original Metroid, I always felt like the space pirates had built their base in the ruins of some unknown ancient civilization.  As Samus explored it, I thought it was cool that it was as mysterious to her as it was to the player.  Who were these weird bird people?  What killed them off?  Why does their ancient technology work so well with her suit?  I hoped these questions would be answered in future games, but not as backstory.

The developers admit some of their inspiration came from Alien, so I'll use that as an example.  Remember when the landing party in Alien entered the bizarre ship, and came across the long-dead "Space Jockey" sitting at the control panel?  Remember the sense of awe?  This creature was obviously technologically advanced, and yet it also looks so old.  And despite its power, something killed it from the inside.  Now what if Kane had suddenly said, "Oh, these guys.  Yeah, I grew up living next door to some of these dudes.  And that means this must be an egg transport ship.  Make sure we avoid the cargo hold, there's facehuggers there."  Doesn't that kill the mood a bit?

So, no, the Chozo story is not for me.  I can accept Samus being transgender, but raised by bird guys is too much. 

Super Mario Maker

Christmas of 1985, I got my Nintendo Entertainment System, along with Duck Hunt, Gyromite, and of course Super Mario Bros.  Within the next few months I expanded my collection.  Two of the games - Excitebike and Wrecking Crew - allowed you to create your own levels.  I loved designing my own levels, and wished more games had the feature.  Specifically, I always wished Super Mario Bros had a level edit mode.

So to put it simply, Super Mario Maker is the game I've been wanting since 1985.  I do wish it had come out closer to 1985 than to 2015, but better late than never, I suppose.  Let's face it, if it had come out earlier, it wouldn't have had nearly as many options.  SMM allows you to choose from four graphical modes, and you can share your levels online, neither of which would have been possible in 1985.

So, how does it measure up to my 30 years of expectations?  I love it!  It gives you a great selection of tools, lots of options, and some neat little Easter eggs.  It's like two games in one - it's fun to create your own levels, but it's also fun to play the levels others have made.

Just For Fun

Of course, Sturgeon's Law is in full effect here; you don't come across many truly great levels.  But that's all right.  It's easy to recognize bad levels right away and skip them.  I do wish it had more options for finding specific types of levels; maybe future updates will help on that front.

But the bottom line is that it's the near-perfect Mario game.  It's got the best elements of the four best Super Mario games, it's got an unlimited number of levels, and you can make your own stages.  I can't imagine any Mario fan not wanting to own this one.

On a personal note: My preordered copy arrived the same weekend my my wife went into the hospital.  (See my personal blog for more details on that.)  I considered trying to get a refund right away, because we needed to watch every cent.  But it was also my birthday present, and I had bought it online using reward points, so I kept it.

Yo Dawg I Heard You Like Goombas

It turned out to be the perfect game to have around while my wife recovered.  I took nearly a month off work, most of which I spent sitting near my wife, ready to cater to her needs.  The great thing about Super Mario Maker is that you can play it in short bursts.  As a maker, you can save your progress at any time if you need to do something.  As a player, you only play one level at a time, and most of the levels are relatively short.

There's no deep plot to hold your attention, and there's no drought between save points.  I could make involved levels while my wife napped, or play a few short levels when she was awake and might need something.  I'm glad it came out when it did.

If you have Super Mario Maker and want to follow me, my Miiverse ID is: Fury1958
My Super Mario Maker Bookmark page is here: Fury1958

Here's some YouTube videos of someone playing my levels:

Wii U - First Impressions

I got a bonus at work for having been there 15 years (yay me).  Don't worry, we're doing responsible stuff with the majority of it.  But I also wanted to splurge a little and get something just for myself.  So I, uh, got a Wii U.

I know, I know.  By most accounts, the Wii U is the least powerful (and least successful) of the three current generation systems, and I worry that I might be buying a failing product.

But as I get older, I find that I'm just not connecting with modern gamers. I have no interest in the first person shooters that dominate the XBox and Playstation systems. And when I do see an Xbox/Playstation game I actually want (like Alien: Isolation), it's usually also available on the PC.  But these days I'm more into playing retro-style games, and remakes/sequels of the games I played on my NES back in the 80s.

The Wii U is a really nifty system.  The tablet-like controller works very well, and seems like something all systems should do in the future.  They don't necessarily need to come with their own proprietary tablet controller like the Wii U, but I definitely think all future PS and Xbox systems ought to release apps that link the system to your iPad/Android/etc tablet (or even phone). Given how many things we do on video game systems now that don't even involve joysticks (Netflix, etc), controlling them with a tablet is a no-brainer.

A few minor complaints.  Setting up the system took forever, what with downloading and installing updates, and transferring everything from the old Wii to the new system.  And it is surprising that a new system in this day and age doesn't play DVDs or Blu-Rays.  And of course the game selection isn't very good yet, but I can live with that.  I only buy about one console game every six months anyway.

I got the bundle that comes with Mario Kart 8 and Nintendo Land.  Mario Kart has never looked better, and the tracks are extremely creative this time around.  I love the antigravity areas and the pretty underwater effects.  Even the retro tracks have lots of new features to keep things fresh.  The controls are spot-on perfect, and you can still use the wheel controllers from Mario Kart Wii.  It has a robust selection of characters and vehicles, and the DLC makes the selection even better.  I especially love the Legend of Zelda DLC.

Honestly, Mario Kart 8 has quickly become one of my top ten favorite games of all time.  No, better than that; I believe MK8 is one of mankind's top ten greatest achievements.  I'm not sure where it falls on the list, probably somewhere above the telephone but just below the Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

Nintendo Land, on the other hand, isn't exactly knocking my socks off.  Like the Wii's "Wii Sports" disc, Nintendo Land is pretty much a tech demo - a collection of shallow mini games designed to show off what you can do on the Wii U Gamepad.  I've only tried three or four of the games so far, and none of them made me want to play them again.  However, some of the reviews rave about how fun it is as a multiplayer game, so I'll hold off judgement until I've had a chance to play it with others.  I will say that all the tutorials are driving me nuts.  Nintendo Land could very well be called "Tutorial: The Game". 

So far I'm incredibly happy with the system.  If you want to friend me on the Wii U or any other system, here's all my friend codes:

MiiVerse: Fury1958 
3DS: 1306-5310-8353
Steam: 1958Fury
XBox 360: MattAndKJ

Super Smash Bros 3DS (...and Almost Good Games)

I've noticed a pattern when I review video games; I tend to give more backstory than actual review.   In my blog about Injustice: Gods Among Us, I spent as much time talking about the history of Mortal Kombat as I did about Injustice itself.  In my Alien: Isolation blog, I wrote more about the Commodore 64 Alien game than I did about Isolation.  I think this may just be my style.  If a game reminds me of other games, I like to make comparisons.  And don't get me started on ramblings where I talk about how I blog, such as this paragraph.  So if you want to skip to where I talk about Super Smash Bros, just scroll down to the bolded part.

Anyway... Before I write about Super Smash Bros for the 3DS, I want to talk for a minute about games that are awesome... except for the "game" part.  Games where the programmers went all-out in making the game as complete as possible, but still failed in the basic aspects of making it fun.

A lot of my examples are going to be from the Commodore 64.  The C64 was a peculiar machine - it was a computer that wanted to be a game system, or possibly vice-versa.  It had graphics that were a fair bit better than the Atari 2600, but not quite as good as the 8-bit Nintendo... except when they were.  Some programmers managed to get more out of the graphics than others.  Well, that's true of any system, but it was particularly glaring on the C64.  But the C64 controls were even more erratic.  It had ports for Atari 2600 joysticks, which aren't the most precise controllers in video game history anyway, but used on the C64 they were particularly mushy.

So anyway, the games:

Project Firestart (C64, 1989)

As far as I'm concerned, Project Firestart was the first "Survival Horror" computer game.  If ever a game came out that could be called "Resident Evil in space", this is it, and it was released years before the first Resident Evil.  You're sent to investigate a deep space research station, which sent out a distress call before going silent.  You dock with the station, and the first few halls are completely empty.  You hear nothing but your own echoing footsteps. Then you enter one room and see the mutilated body of a scientist, who used his last bit of energy to write a warning on the wall in his own blood.  The game shows you a quick closeup of the body as the music plays a scare chord.  As you continue to explore the station, you find many more bodies.  You access computers to find clues.  One one computer you find some journals that explain what's going on - the scientists had created some creatures for labor purposes, and those creatures got loose.

That's when you finally see the creatures themselves.  These tall, green tentacled monsters show up and you have to run or fight.  You encounter them several more times during your explorations, and several plot twists keep you from just running back to your ship and hightailing it out of there.  All told it's not as long as Resident Evil, and it does resort to backtracking to prolong the length of the game.  But for the time, it was revolutionary.  The graphics may look ancient now, but at the time it was some of the best I'd seen.  All in all, it was a brilliant game...

 
...except for the gameplay.  While I loved exploring the space station, fending off the creatures was annoying because the weapons were terrible.  There were a couple of different types of guns you could pick up, but they were really more like cattle prods.  Instead of firing any sort of projectiles or beams, just the tip of the gun lit up and became lethal.  Safety-wise, this actually makes sense not having weapons that could breach the hull.  But gameplay-wise, it was way too difficult killing monsters this way.  If you were close enough for your weapon to hurt them, they could hurt you as well.  Now if the game were more of a run-and-hide style game like Alien Isolation, this would still be fun.  But Project Firestart often put you in situations where you had to fight to survive, by putting monsters on both sides of you with no other ways out.  This issue is the only black mark on a game that was otherwise years ahead of its time.

Mail-Order Monsters (C64, 1985)

Buy a monster.  Customize him with bio-upgrades and weapons.  Take him to the arena to fight other monsters.  Use your winnings to upgrade your monster, or to buy more monsters.  There's been a few modern attempts at similar games, but none of them have had the charm of MOM.  It was so fun playing this game with my friends, each of us loading up our own monsters and making them fight.  I spent hours cheating by playing the two player mode by myself, winning battle after battle so I could earn enough money to build an entire menagerie of fully-powered beasts.  It was a wonderful experience...

...except for the gameplay.  While the build process was well-done and had decent graphics, the actual battle part was pretty dull.  Each player controlled a tiny solid-colored sprite, trying to get close enough to the enemy to hit the button for a melee attack, or trying to line them up for an easily-dodged ranged attack.  I know I shouldn't expect much from the C64, but there were plenty of other games that managed to make this kind of combat exciting.  I just wish the programmers had worked as hard on the fighting as they did the construction mode.

Autoduel (C64, 1985)

Based on the tabeltop RPG "Car Wars", Autoduel was an open-world vehicular combat game set in a Mad Max style future.  The freedom was incredible - you're just a guy with a car, what you do next is up to you.  Enter a demolition derby to earn more money.  Or take a courier job, braving the lawless streets to deliver packages to other cities.  Or go bounty hunting, living off rewards for the outlaws you defeat.  Use the money to improve your car, buy better cars, and equip them with the best weapons.  The game came with an instruction booklet as thick as the RPG itself, designed to look like a vehicle owner's manual.  I'm not sure I've ever seen so much stuff you can do in a C64 game.  It was an incredible sandbox game...

...except for the gameplay.  The cars moved too sluggishly, making it very difficult.  It was hard to practice enough to get better, because of the extraordinarily long loading times.  The rules were as harsh as an RPG - if you died, you had to make a new character.  So a typical game session might go like this:  Wait 10 minutes for the game to load.  Start a new character, spend several minutes making your first car.  Several more minutes getting your first courier job.  Leave town so you can drive to your courier destination.  Wait 5 more minutes for it to load the area between the towns.  Get attacked by outlaws.  Try to flee, because the starting cash isn't enough to buy weapons that don't suck.  Get killed because your car is slow and hard to control.  Realize you have to start the entire game over because of the harsh death rules.  Play a different game because this one is so frustrating.

WWE All-Stars (3DS, 2011)

But games that are almost perfect aren't limited to the C64.  More recently I owned "WWE Wrestling All-Stars" for the 3DS, and it was nearly incredible.  It had an impressive roster split between classic and modern wrestlers.  The classic wrestlers included all my favorites from my teen years, with multiple outfits to represent different years of their career.  We have Andre in his classic black on-strap leotard, but we also have him in his early years, with the long hair and the more traditional briefs.  There were multiple rings, a create-a-wrestler mode, and all the match types I've come to expect from wrestling games (singles, tag team, steel cage, etc).  In short, it is the perfect WWE game...

...except for the gameplay.  The matches just feel slow and tedious.  To be fair, I haven't had a lot of luck with wrestling games, even the ones that received great reviews.  So this is probably just me.  I haven't played a wrestling game I liked since the days of 2D sprites.  Something happened when they converted to polygons - they stopped being fun arcade button mashers and started becoming wrestling simulators.  Which is fine for a certain type of gamer, but I don't think I'm the target audience.

Super Smash Bros for the 3DS

Still reading this far?  Cool.  So anyway, the new Smash Bros 3DS game.  I'm really enjoying this game.  It has a lot going for it.  For one thing, it has a huge roster of fighters (51 once all are unlocked), with several alternate looks for each.  Some of those alternate looks are practically new characters.  For instance, instead of alternate colors, Bowser Jr's alts are the other 7 Koopalings.  A couple of the characters have male and female versions, Little Mac has both his NES look and his green wireframe arcade look, one of Peach's alts is Daisy, one of Fox's alts is Wolf, and so on.

The game has a ton of modes, and hundreds of unlockable things, so you never run out of things to do.  If all you feel like doing is random fights, you can just go to the highly-customizable Smash Mode.  But there's also Classic Mode where you fight a lot of different types of matches until you get to the boss.  Not to mention Smash Run, where you run around a level fighting enemies like a traditional platformer, collecting powerup icons, until it ends with a traditional Smash battle using the powerups you collected.  It even has a mode where you fight every fighter in the game, in the order their games were released.  With characters like Pac-Man and Mr Game & Watch, it's practically the history of video games in the palm of my hand.

The addition of Miis is particularly nice.  I always like Create-A-Fighter modes, so the ability to put myself into SSB is wonderful.  You start with any Mii in your collection, then choose three basic fighting styles - fists, sword, or gun.  Then you can choose from a few special moves, pick some stat-boosting icons to help you specialize your character, and pick an outfit and head accessories (more of which are unlockable).  It's not perfect but it's a really great feature.

All in all, I'd have to say it's the perfect Nintendo fighting game...

...except for - you guessed it - the gameplay.  Now to be fair, I enjoy this game's controls more than any other game mentioned in this blog.  It is highly polished, and everything I dislike about it is just personal taste.  I still think it deserves all the 9 star reviews it's getting.  Unlike the C64 examples, this game's controls were not a casualty of limited technology; this is exactly the game the programmers were intending to make.  However, I personally hate being forced to play 2D games with the circle pad.  I have a firm belief that 3D games work better with analog pads, and 2D games work better with d-pads.  Fighting games in particular should be mapped to d-pads because they require a lot of precise button-tapping, and often involve a lot of pounding that's harsh on the more delicate analog sticks.  And before you think I'm being paranoid, there have already been a lot of reports of people breaking their circle pads playing SSB.  I really hope these breakages cause Nintendo to release a patch that lets you use the d-pad.

I also have trouble keeping track of my character in the chaotic battles.  The game does attempt to make this easier for you: it has a couple of options for putting an outline around characters, and it puts "P1" above your head at all times... but it's still easy to lose track of where you are.  And while the game has a lot of different play modes, most of them aren't very good.  I'm glad they're there, but after trying each once, I generally found myself going back to the plain old Smash mode over and over.  Some of the minigames in particular are tedious - I've hated home run stadium since the last game.

But despite these shortcomings - most of which are really my shortcomings - it's a fantastic game. 

Nintendo 3DS

Still no big long post here, as I've been using up all my blogging energy for my RPG blog. 

Just wanted to mention that I have a 3DS now, so if anybody wants to add me to their friend list, here's my friend code: 1306-5310-8353

Remember you'll have to give me your code as well for it to work.  As long as we're posting friend codes, here's my Wii Code (not that I play the Wii much any more): 7045 1920 7172 8881

And my X-Box 360 handle: MattAndKJ

I'm really enjoying the 3DS.  So far I've mostly been playing Mario Kart 7, New SMB 2, and a bunch of classic NES/Gameboy games.

Metroid: Other M

I thought I wasn't going to get to play the new Metroid for while, because I just couldn't fit it in the entertainment budget for a couple of months. But then my friend Chris bought it for me. He's also the one who gave me his old X-Box 360 a while back, when he upgraded to a newer model. I kept meaning to thank him for that publicly, but never got around to it, so I'll do it now:

Chris, you're awesome.

Never mind that we're polar opposites on every issue from politics to religion; that has no bearing on true friendship. Chris has always been something of a conversational sparring partner, but I've found I need that. People should challenge their beliefs now and then, else they run the risk of believing silly things for no other reason than they've always believed it. Besides, I love to debate, and I often get along better with people with whom I can argue. So I hearby grant Chris the honorable title "Greatest Of All The Living Individuals Currently Known, Especially Republicans" (actually that's a little wordy, maybe I'll just use the acronym "G.O.A.T.L.I.C.K.E.R." for short).

So anyway, Metroid: Other M. I'm not very far into this game, so this is more of a first impression than a full review.

I thought that this game was supposed to be reminiscent of the classic Metroid games, but it turns out it's something entirely new. The controls are not like any of the previous games, 2D or 3D. While the game is mostly third person, you can walk in all directions: left, right, towards or away from the camera. So even though the background doesn't rotate in third person mode, it feels like you're playing something like Mario 64. Some sections of the map are left/right, like classic Metroid, and some sections are forward/back, so so you find yourself staring at Samus's back as she runs forward. The level map is an overhead view of the level, unlike the 3D Metroids (where the entire map was 3D and went in all directions), and unlike the 2D Metroids (where the map was a left/right cross section and made you wonder if any part of the pirate fortress was more than 20 feet wide).

You can switch to first-person view any time you want, but you can't move around while in first-person, so it's mainly used when you're trying to find something in the room. That's also the only way to fire missiles or use the grapple beam. This makes some of the boss fights very difficult, since you have to keep switching back and forth. You'll use third person for running around and dodging the creature's attacks, then you'll switch to first person to lock on to the creature's weak points and fire your missiles. And of course you'll end up going back and forth like that several times before the boss dies. It can be quite disorienting.

The previous Metroid games were built around exploration, but this one feels more like an action game. While the older games had you generally taking out one or two enemies at a time, this one has you constantly getting surrounded by enemy swarms, and you have to shoot in every direction to take them out quickly. Your shots auto-aim at the enemy closest to the direction you're facing/pressing, so you don't have to aim upwards or anything if an enemy is flying. You also have some physical attacks when enemies get too close, so for the first time you're not just shooting at enemies. The available moves depend on the enemy; for example, one particular enemy can only be killed buy jumping on it's back and shooting it in the back of the head (a move that doesn't work on other creatures).

Some fights are pretty difficult. However, save points are frequent (so far), and sometimes when you die it will start you at a nearby check point. Enemies don't drop anything, so you have to rely on save points to fully recharge. You also have the ability to recharge your missiles (and some of your health, if it's low) any time you're not currently in battle. And even when you hit 0 hit points, you don't always die right away. The game sometimes gives you a chance to run to safety and do the recharge move, while your hit points fluctuate between 0 and 1. So if you can just avoid the monster's death blow, you might be able to get a second wind.

Exploration-wise, it's a lot more "on rails" than any Metroid game I've played so far. It feels most like Metroid Fusion: There's a guy in the command center who unlocks doors for you, and sends you messages telling you to check out a certain area. Samus technically starts will all the attachments she had at the end of Super Metroid, but isn't allowed to use them until they're unlocked by the same command guy. So it looks like the only things to find are additional missiles and energy tanks. Hidden items are marked on the map, so you know when there's something to find, but you still have to figure out how to get to it. Sometimes this involves going into first-person mode and moving your cross-hairs over every single pixel on the screen until you find the secret place where you can lock on.

The movie scenes are very well-done, and it looks like Samus is going to keep having flashbacks throughout the game that tell more of her childhood. That might not interest everybody, but I'm looking forward to learning more about Samus Aran. I've read that the flashbacks upset some fans, because it doesn't follow the continuity previously established by the comics and manga. However, I never liked the origin stories I'd previously read (they involved Samus being raised by the same Chozo creatures that left item-holding statues all over Zebes... give me a break), so I look forward to seeing what the story is now. I hope this one lets you play as Zero Suit Samus at some point, like in Zero Mission.

It also has a couple of elements that remind me of the "Survival Horror" genre. Like you'll come across a corpse (sadly not graphic or bloody, but what did you expect from Nintendo), and Samus will say something like, "What could have done this?" Then a few minutes later some creepy thing might burst through the wall and attack you. Or you might catch a glimpse of a strange-looking enemy through a window or on a monitor before you get to face it later. I've found one "instant death" scene so far. I was climbing up an elevator shaft, and had to stop when I reached the bottom of the elevator. Then a tough monster showed up below me and started climbing up towards me. I found a place I could shoot that made the elevator fall, killing us both instantly. The checkpoint started me out right before that room. This time I found an alcove to stand in before I shot the elevator release thing, killing just the monster and letting me climb farther up the shaft.

I'll say this - Though I'm having great fun, so far it hasn't wowed me. Other than the Metroid name, there really isn't much to write home about. It's like when you buy a game based on a movie, and it turns out to be just another generic shooter or beat-em-up, but you still like it anyway because it's cool to control your favorite character. I mean, sure, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game was pretty much just Final Fight with a makeover, but it was still more fun cracking heads with a turtle. If they ever got around to making a Metroid movie, this is probably what the tie-in game would be like.

It feels like they tried to take Other M in too many directions at once. The action doesn't control quite well enough to compete with true action games; in fact it feels like some of the early attempts to make a 3D Contra game for the PS1. The exploration aspect feels like they tacked it on (Manager: "It's a Metroid game! You have to give them something to find!") I kind of wish they'd played up the Survival Horror angle - I've always wanted a good "Resident Evil in space" game, like "Project Firestart" for the Commodore 64.

But please don't think I'm not enjoying it. I'd rather play the worst Metroid game than the best game of any other series, and this is not the worst Metroid game. It has its flaws, but overall my biggest gripe is that I just can't find the time to play it.

Mario Kart Wii

I love my Wii, and I love most of the games I've played for it so far. Of course, the best of the best - Wii Sports, Zelda, Metroid, Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros Brawl - are the ones made by Nintendo themselves. They're the only ones who really know how to get the most out of their system. So it's no real surprise that Mario Kart is a hit.

But what a hit... I can honestly say that this is the most fun I've had on the Wii so far. Of course the game is fun, it's Mario Kart - they could have repackaged Mario Kart 64 with some updated graphics and I'd have been happy. And to some extent, that's what they did - there's really not a whole lot of new content here. But the overall package is so enjoyable, that I can't complain.

Well, okay, I can complain. There are a few major flaws that would absolutely cripple it, if it were a non-Nintendo title.

For one thing, I hate the way you lose your items whenever you crash, get hit, spin out, get electrocuted, fall, burn, blink, sneeze, or think about cabbage. In the older Mario Kart games, it was a good strategy to hoarde the best items when you get them, and use them at just the right moment. For example, if you fell off the course but you happened to have a mushroom boost on you, then you could get going again in a flash. In MKW, falling off the course makes you lose that mushroom. It's so easy to lose your items in MKW, that the best strategy is to try to use your items as soon as you get them, before somebody hits you with their items.

And you will get hit often. Which brings me to my next complaint - the newest items are just too powerful. And since it's now 12 racers instead of 8, items are getting used constantly. The way MKW is programmed, the player in the lead gets the worst items, and those bringing up the rear get unblockable psycho-uber WMDs. In theory this is a good idea. In the older MK games, if you found yourself in 8th place in the third lap, then there wasn't much chance you'd place above 7th. With MKW, there's always hope. Now you can go from last to first in the final stretch of the last lap, just by getting the right powerup. And everybody targets the guy in front. So now, when you're the kart in first place, you spend most of your time flattened and shrunk, with a storm cloud over your head, a shell on your ass, and a squid in your face. You're almost better off staying in second for most of the race until the finish line is in sight.

Sometimes it bothers me that I'm not feeling the speed. Often I don't feel like I'm moving any faster than you can run in any given Mario game. And with some of the game's gimmicks (the one where you bounce off mushrooms comes to mind), I almost feel like I'm playing something besides a racing game. Maybe Nintendo needs to make a "Wii Fan" peripheral that blows air in your face, depending on how fast you're going.

Unless I'm missing something, there's seems to be no two-player GP mode. That's too bad, because I always enjoyed unlocking the cups with a friend. You can still race other people, both online and off. But without working towards something, those kind of matches feel a little empty to me. MKW has a lot of new characters and vehicles to unlock, but you have to switch to single player to unlock most of them. And when you unlock things, it only unlocks for the player who unlocks them. So KJ and I will each have to master every GP and time trial by ourselves, if we both want all the characters and vehicles. There's a lot of stuff to unlock (14 characters and 18 vehicles, I think), so doing it twice is a pain. And from what I've read, a few of the characters/karts are going to be a downright pain to unlock.

But despite my complaints, most of the time I'm having too much fun to care. I've seen some mixed reviews of MKW so far... Well, most reviewers have loved it, but a few have made the same complaints I mention above. Also, Nintendo has been accused of just going through the motions for this one, and saying that this is actually a step down from the much more innovative "Mario Kart Double Dash" for the Gamecube. I never played MKDD, so I can't really say if that's true. In fact, I haven't played any of them since the N64 version, so I can only see MKW as a huge improvement.

Sidetrack - Should reviewers base their reviews on previous games in the series? After all, if MKW is only a disappointment to those who played Double Dash, then how many people is that, really? The Wii console has probably outsold the Gamecube several times over by now. This question has bothered me for over a decade. When Capcom released "Super Street Fighter II" for the SNES, EGM gave it a bad review because they were tired of Capcom re-releasing the same game over and over, with only a few improvements. While I agree with the sentiment, I think a game should be reviewed based on its own merits. If a game receives a high score, then a few months later they release a version that's the exact same except for a few improvements, how can it get a lower score? That's letting personal politics get in the way of your review. There might be someone out there who didn't buy the previous versions of the game, who is trying to decide between the second or third version. Then they see that the second version got a better score than the third version, and don't realize that the reviewer was just trying to punish the game company with a bad review.

Another example, and one that never fails to piss me off: When a game is released for a couple of systems I don't own, and gets killer reviews. About a year later, it finally comes to the system I do own, and every review I find says, "Well, it's as good as ever, with a few improvements even. But we've already played it on Systems A and B, and we've moved on. We've beaten it so many times that we're bored with it now, so we're giving it a low score." WTF? Not everybody owns all three current consoles. How about a review for those of us who haven't played it yet? I'm a late adopter. I tend to wait for the prices to come down before I buy something. So I don't mind playing games with last year's graphics. Heck, I still regularly play games with last decade's graphics.

Anyway, sidetrack over, back to MKW. The online mode is a lot of fun. It's hard to say what's different, except that real people are a lot less predictable than computer AI. And knocking someone off the track is somehow more fulfilling when you know there's another human at the controls, than when it's just another bot.

The wheel works a lot better than I thought it would. I personally do better with the classic controller, as it's what I'm used to after all these years. But I have played with the wheel, and it's pretty responsive and a lot of fun. KJ does great with it, and it's all she uses. I just might have to buy a second wheel when I get the cash.

So if you have a Wii, and you've enjoyed any of the Mario Kart series in the past, you should pick this one up. It's flawed but fun. I wouldn't buy a Wii just for this game, but I wouldn't buy a Wii without it.

Anyway, if any of you also have a Wii, and want to add me to your friends list and whatnot, here's my Nintendo codes. Like Smash Bros, Mario Kart Wii requires its own code, different from the Wii console's friend code. Remember that I have to add yours as well, or nothing will happen. So if you put in my codes, you also have to send me yours.

Wii Console Friend Code:
7045 1920 7172 8881

Smash Bros Code:
4468 0854 8798

Mario Kart Wii:
Matt 0387-9165-2538
KJ 1504-6091-8383