Control Freak

Nothing to see here, just a trip down Joystick Memory Lane...

My first console was the Atari 2600.  The Atari’s joystick was iconic – you still see pictures of it today used to represent the history of video games.  However, it was a horrible controller.  Despite being covered by a rubber sleeve, the joystick was easily broken.  

Or maybe we kids were just too rough on them.  But regardless, everyone I knew had at least one joystick they didn’t use any more, because one of the directions didn’t work.  Some of the third party controllers were more durable and controlled better.  I had this one:

Atari’s competitor, Intellivision, had even worse controllers.  The number pad was occasionally useful, but that control disc was just awful.  They made little joysticks you could stick onto the control discs, which helped, but really it was just a bad design all around.  

The Colecovision used similar controllers, but with squat little joysticks instead of discs.  It was slightly better, but still, yuck.

My first computer was the TRS-80.  It had some odd controllers – square plastic bases with thin metal joysticks.  Unlike most joysticks, these were not spring-loaded, so they didn’t center themselves.  If you pressed right, the joystick stayed right, until you moved it back to the center.  Not good.  

My next computer was a Commodore 64.  It used the same controller ports as the Atari, so I just used the third party Atari sticks that we still had lying around. 

When the 8-bit Nintendo was released, I was surprised that its default controllers weren’t joysticks.  It seemed like a step backwards somehow.  And yet, those control pads were possibly the first good controllers made for a video game console.  They were the most durable controllers to be released so far – there were no parts jutting up far enough to break off, and the plastic was far sturdier than the controllers on older consoles.  I quickly adapted to them.  Of course, I did get the NES Advantage joystick later, but by then I was so used to joypads, that the stick actually felt less precise.

When the SNES came out, I loved its controllers even more.  It had everything I loved about the NES controller, only now it had more buttons, a more pleasing curved shape, and a nice gray/purple color scheme.  

But this is where my friends and I started to disagree.  Some people felt that the SNES controllers were too small, but they were the right size for me.  Some of my friends preferred the Genesis controller.  Now, I might be a little biased, because I was a SNES fan during the early 90s console wars.  But to this day I can’t stand the Genesis controller.  They felt cheap and airy and the buttons just didn’t click right.  With the SNES, I could rest my thumb across all four buttons, and sort of lean it in the direction I wanted to press.  But the Genesis had bigger buttons, spaced farther apart, so I had to actually lift my thumb from the A button to hit the C button, like some sort of neanderthal.

The six-button version that came later was a slight improvement, but I still didn’t care for it.

The Nintendo 64 was a mess all around.  First off, it had one of the most fragile-feeling analog sticks I’ve ever seen.  Second, they stuck it awkwardly in the middle.  This was supposed to give you the freedom to control different games in different ways.  But the result was a controller that just felt “wrong” no matter which way you held it.  Not wanting to trash anybody’s memories here.  I liked Ocarina of Time just as much as you did.  But that was one of the worst controller designs in history.

The original Playstation controller was great, but that’s because it was just a glorified SNES controller with a more ergonomic shape.  I had an unusual problem with the original PS controllers – they kept dying on me from static shock.  You know, you walk across carpet in the winter, touch something and ZAP!  Whenever I got a shock from a PS controller, one of the buttons would stop working.  After two or three controllers, I learned to touch something metal before touching the PS controllers. 

The Playstation DualShock controller was the best controller design of all time, and it just keeps improving with every new Sony console.  The symmetry of the two analog sticks is aesthetically pleasing, and it feels good on the thumbs.  The controller is the right weight, the button configuration is familiar, and all the buttons are easy to reach.  I'm glad Sony hasn't messed with the basic design much.

I know I’m kind of jumping around a bit here…  The Sega Dreamcast was kind of neat because of the little removable Gameboy-like memory card.  I never really understood why controllers with screens never caught on; it would be great for inventory screens and multiplayer games.  Sure it’s expensive, but it’s cheaper than buying multiple Gameboy Advances to plug into your Gamecube.  Anyway, Dreamcast had some neat ideas, but the controller was a little bulky for my tastes.

The original XBox controllers were just too big.  The XBox 360 controllers were an improvement, but I hated the buttons.  The best controller designs either make the buttons out of rubber, or make the buttons concave so your thumbs rest in the little divots.  The 360 buttons were both rounded and hard as rocks, so after a few hours of gaming I had little divots in my thumbs.  The XBox One controllers are a little better, but I still prefer the PS4’s.  

Since so many games come out for both systems, controller style is one of the bigger factors in which console I buy.  I wish third party manufacturers would make PS-shaped controllers for XBox systems and vice versa, but there’s probably legal reasons why they don’t.

Unpopular opinion time, but I think the greatest video game configuration for first-person shooters was the Wii’s “Wiimote/Nunchuck” combo.  In one hand, you basically held a gun, and you aimed by pointing at the screen.  The other hand had your joystick for moving around.  I honestly can’t imagine a more intuitive controller setup.  

I mean, when I play Metroid Prime with that controller setup, I am Samus Aran, and the Wiimote is my arm cannon.  The only thing that would make it more immersive is a VR helmet.

And yet, the Wii wasn’t known for first-person shooters.  It’s insane.  It would be like packing your console with a steering wheel controller, then never releasing any driving games.  Unfortunately the Wii came out in 2006, a good five years after Halo.  Of course Halo wasn’t the first FPS to use dual analog sticks, but its popularity taught an entire generation to control shooters that way.  This is just how FPS games control now, and there’s probably no going back.  I honestly believe that in an alternate universe, a Wii-style gun/joystick combo could have become the default way to play FPS games. 

So anyway, here’s my top 10 console controllers of all time:

1. Playstation DualShock (any generation)

2. Wii Classic Controller (and similar DualShock knock-offs)

3. SNES

4. Wiimote/Nunchuk

5. NES

6. That’s it.

7. No, seriously.

8. No other controllers matter.

9. Why are you still reading this?

10. It’s settled.  Go home.