Further Proof That You Can’t Satisfy Star Wars Fans

(Spoilers for Rise of Skywalker)

So, Last Jedi was blasted for straying too far from the Star Wars formula.  Rise of Skywalker is getting blasted for sticking too closely to the Star Wars formula.  This is why we can’t have nice things.

Seriously, I've heard nothing for the past two years but how much The Last Jedi sucked, and how Rian Johnson should never be allowed to direct a movie again.  But Rise of Skywalker overturns a few of TLJ's decisions, and suddenly Johnson is the second coming of Christ.  How dare they retcon all these things you've been complaining about for two years?  

Critics say Rise of Skywalker paid too much attention to the criticism of the last movie, and uses too many of the suggestions put forward by fans on internet message boards.  One humorist even said it felt like it was written by Reddit.  Is this a bad thing now?  Listening to criticism?  Trying to please your fans?  How dare they!

They say it’s not performing as well as expected in the box office, but do remember that Saturday was the busiest shopping day of the year; some people are too busy for a movie.  Besides, it’s competing against Cats!  *gigglesnort*  I hope it picks up some momentum after the holidays, because I don’t like it when Disney thinks things underperformed. 

But I just have to wonder what fans were expecting.  They did everything you asked, and you’re still unhappy.  Look, I would love to get an intelligently-written, seriously dramatic Star Wars movie someday.  But I only say that because I’d like to see Star Wars cross all into all sorts of genres eventually.  Star Wars sitcom?  I’m there.  Star Wars horror?  Awesome.  The best Star Wars novel I’ve read was a romance.  And The Mandalorian is basically a Star Wars western, and it does the job beautifully.

Side note:  Okay, so a lot of people will argue that Star Wars has always been a space western, but I don’t see it.  Sure, Han Solo is obviously a cowboy, but he’s not the main character.  To me, Luke’s story arc always more closely resembled old ninja movies, right down to him seeking out knowledge from an ancient wizened sage who is more powerful than his tiny frame would suggest.  But Star Trek also gets compared to westerns, so I honestly think some people just compare everything to westerns.  It has good guys and bad guys and sometimes they shoot at each other?  Must be a western, cuz gosh, no other genre has that.  But IMO, the only true space western is Firefly.

So yes, I would have no problem with Rian Johnson taking the reins again, turning the formula on its head, and making a movie that confuses our expectations.  But I also like Star Wars movies feeling like shallow theme park rides.  I hate to admit this, but Star Wars is supposed to appeal to twelve year olds.  I love that it can be enjoyed by all ages, but I think the target audience should always remain the tween demographic, at least for the numbered films.  That should be the goal: to put in just enough plot to keep the adults entertained, but to keep it light and energetic enough to keep the twelve-year-olds from looking at their smartphones.  Use the spin-off movies to experiment with other genres.

When The Sixth Sense put M. Night Shyamalan on the map, it also branded him as the “twist” guy.  There was a certain expectation that went with seeing his movies, and if he made a movie that didn’t have a twist, some people felt cheated.  I think there is a similar expectation that Star Wars movies follow a certain formula.  The minute Rey was introduced, audience members speculated on who her parents would be.  There just had to be some explanation as to why Force powers came to her so easily.  But then, they never really explained how Anakin came to be, at least not on film.  It’s a big universe; there’s no reason why any new characters have to be related to anybody.  But apparently some Star Wars fans just can’t accept a character without knowing their complete genealogy.

Anyway, there’s no accounting for why one likes or dislikes something.  But the reasons I’m hearing for people not liking Rise of Skywalker are, frankly, stupid.  This goes back to my blog on “Introspection Illusion”, but I don’t think people dislike things for the reasons they think they dislike them.  Can’t keep up with the movie’s frenetic pace?  Must be because you didn’t like them retconning Rey’s parentage.  Dialogue not making you laugh?  Must be because you didn’t like the Chewbacca death fake-out.  Ending feels too happy?  Must be because they showed too much (or too little) of Rose Tico.

If none of that makes any sense, well, that’s how I feel reading some of the reviews out there.  I don’t think some of you actually know why you didn’t like it.  I’m just saying, if you had enjoyed the movie on a more subconscious level, you might not be quibbling about the strange plot twists.  I’ve only seen Rise of Skywalker once so far, but I think this is one of those movies that’s probably more enjoyable a second time.  Once you know what happens, and aren’t worrying so much about who’s going to die or whether you missed a twist, you can enjoy it for what Star Wars has always been: popcorn munchers, roller coaster rides, special effects showcases, and homages to the cheesy serials from the 1930s.

If you didn’t like Rise of Skywalker, that’s okay.  It’s not your fault you’re a dullard, you probably just had boring parents.  I won’t hold that against you.  But I’m going to go hang out with the cool kids.  You know, the ones who don’t hate fun.  Feel free to join us when you’re ready to let your inner twelve-year-old out to play.  We’ll be happy to have you.