The Obligatory Star Wars Blog

I figured that if I didn't post at least one "Star Wars"-related blog, they'd revoke my geek license. For the past couple of weeks, KJ and I have been re-watching the Star Wars movies. Even though we didn't make it a one-day marathon, it's still the first time we'd watched the entire series in sequential order. And we hadn't seen any Star Wars movies since Episode III was still in the theaters, well over a year ago. To non-Starwoids, this might not seem like that long a time. But to people like us, going that long without Star Wars is blasphemy.

When each Prequel hit the theater, many die-hard Star Wars fans felt betrayed and angry. Lucas didn't write it exactly the way some fans would have. Lucas left out things that some fans wanted to see. Whine whine whine, gripe gripe gripe. Some fans were so pissed off at Episode I, that they only saw Episode II twice on opening day. It's quite funny to see someone spend all day standing in line, waiting to be the first person to buy a ticket for Episode III, and seeing him pass the time by complaining about how badly Episode II sucked.

I had complaints too, but the damage has been done, and time heals all wounds. This time I was able to watch the Prequel trilogy with fresh eyes, and see them for what they were, not what they weren't. I was able to look at them more objectively, both as Star Wars movies, and as ordinary Sci-Fi/Fantasy movies.

And I've got to say, the Prequels have been judged way too harshly. Just like the original trilogy, the prequels are fun, pretty, imaginative, and action-filled. They aren't serious movies, and they should not be judged as such. The classic trilogy wasn't serious either; it was the rabid fans who made Star Wars out to be more than it really was. Lucas set out to make an homage to the old, campy serials. It was the fans who tried to turn that into serious sci-fi.

It's hard not to take them seriously. Most of us geeks have been watching the original trilogy over and over since we were younglings. Movies like that become a part of you. Not in the trite "I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me" sense, but I mean, movies like that help form and shape your mind. Questioning the perfection of Star Wars is like questioning other aspects of your personality. Do I really enjoy video games? Yes. Do I really like denim jackets? Yes. Did Han shoot Greedo first? Yes.

And that's why we're so resistent to change. Fans have seen Greedo get shot so many times, that the scene has gelled in their heads. It's simply fact now. They're as sure of it as they're sure of gravity, Abraham Lincoln, and microwave burritos. So when George came along with the "Special Editions" that changed facts around a little, it broke many a fan's basic understanding of the universe. But it was good that George did that, because it softened the blow for the Prequels.

When the first Star Wars movie came out in 1977, it was groundbreaking; there just wasn't anything like at the time. It paved the way for mass-market space fantasy. So when "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" was released in 1999, fans were ready for the Second Coming of Christ. Would Lucas be able to do it again? Expectations were impossible to live up to, which made the disappointment all the worse. Yeah, Jar Jar was annoying. So? He wasn't the movie, he was the comic relief. If you don't like it, then don't laugh. And sure, Jake Lloyd couldn't act. Got news for ya, most kids his age can't act. Sure there's exceptions (Osmet, Fanning, and those lifelike robots they build for those Welch's commercials), but for the most part, you have to judge kids on a different scale.

You can complain all day about midichlorians, but there's really no reason to. The fact that Lucas rationalized a way to gauge how force-sensitive a Jedi is, in no way lessens the mystical coolness of the Force itself. Really, the worst sin committed by Episode I is that it's a bit boring. With only a couple of really great action scenes, it just doesn't stand up to repeated viewings. No, wait, the worst sin committed by Episode I is that it has a fart joke. I could have done without that.

You know how when you really expect something to be bad, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? I personally believe that by the time "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" hit the theaters, Star Wars fans had already decided that the Prequels were going to suck. That's the only explanation I can come up with. Just like Phantom Menace, I saw it on opening night, and the crowd loved every minute of it. When the final credits rolled, I said, "Thank God, that'll satisfy the critics. Lucas has made up for the first one."

So naturally I was floored when I started visiting Star Wars message boards, and found out that this one was just as unpopular. I could understand the flaws they'd found in Episode I, but this time I knew George had a hit. Which is not to say I don't see the flaws, I just don't think the bad outweighed the good this time.

Okay, fine, Hayden isn't a very good actor. What's worse, he tends to drag down the performances of those around him. Natalie Portman isn't bad, but her scenes with Hayden make her look brain-dead. The love story isn't very well-written, which was a great disappointment to those hoping for another Han/Leia dynamic. And oh, this time the comic relief consists of bad C3P0 puns - not nearly as painful as watching Jar Jar bump into things, in my opinion.

So yeah, there is some stuff to dislike, but where else are you going to see an army of lightsaber-swinging Jedi battle insect people and space robots? And if that sounds cheesy to you, let me remind you that the title of the movie is "Attack of the Clones"... Shakespeare enthusiasts look elsewhere. It's still a delight watching Palpatine play two armies against each other for his own political gain, and watching Yoda kick ass is just plain fun.

Now, "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" was exceptionally good. Almost "Classic Trilogy" good, and that's really saying something. Yeah, Hayden still can't act, but we're used to it by this point. And even Palpatine chews up the scenery a little bit, in the scenes right after his face gets melted. That disappointed me - up until that point, he had been the best actor in the trilogy. But for a few minutes in Episode III, he reminds me of the type of villain you'd see in a "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers" episode. And why did Lucas feel the need to melt Palpatine's face in the first place? I'd always assumed his face got that way through years of channelling the evil of the Dark Side. I really didn't need this explanation.

But a few gripes do not destroy a movie. As much as there was to dislike, there was a lot more to love. And yet, I've still seen a lot of websites that flat-out say, "The Prequels were stupid." Now, let's be serious here. The prequels are very different from each other, and yet share a lot of similarities with the Classic Trilogy. If you can honestly tell me that you hate all three Prequels, but love all three of the Classic Trilogy, then I've got some sad news for you. You don't really like Star Wars at all, and every bit of passion you think you have for the Classic Trilogy, is really just nostalgia. Or maybe it's the other way around, and every bit of hatred you have for the Prequels is just pettyness.

If you had never seen any of the Star Wars movies in your life, then you decided to watch all six in a row right now, I seriously doubt you'd come back saying, "I hated 1-3, but loved 4-6." You might like four of them, or two of them, or one Prequel and two Classics, or some other odd combination. But those of you who think that the Classics are God, and the Prequels are manure - you're just fooling yourselves. My advice? Do what we did. Spend a year or two without Star Wars, then watch all six in a row. Then maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to figure out how you really feel.

Btw, the same goes for those of you who hate the "Special Editions" of 4-6. Yeah, sure, George screwed up your childhood memories a litte. But if you'd just get past that, you'd realize that they really are superior versions of the movies. You can argue all day about whether Han shot Greedo first, but you'd be missing the point. Those are tiny details of an epic legend, the kind of things that change each time the story is retold. The beauty of the Special Edition DVDs is that they look like the Prequel trilogy.

I specify "DVDs" because the Special Editions are much improved now from when they were released in the theaters in the late 90s. In fact, when I saw the Special Editions in the theaters, as much as I liked them, even I thought they were sort of gimmicky, and the new stuff stood out too much from the old stuff. Not so much with the DVD releases. Every frame is bright and colorful, (nearly) every special effect is realistic. When you watch all six in a row, it's much harder to distinguish the older ones from the newer, giving the entire series a uniform look.

The Prequels and Special Editions disappointed a lot of people, but what's done is done. If you let yourself forget the quibbles, and stop obsessing over how you thought the movies should have been written, then you'll find that it's a fun set of movies. I remember after Episode I came out, I saw an online petition where people were trying to get George Lucas not to direct the other two. In fact, fans were trying to get Peter Jackson to direct II and III. Now, I love the "Lord of the Rings" movies nearly as much as Star Wars. But this is the same LOTR Trilogy in which Samwise excretes the line, "I can't carry it for you... but I... can carry... you!" Clearly one of the cheesiest scenes in cinema history, but we love it anyway. Why? Because at that point, we're so sucked into the movie, that cheesiness whizzes right over our heads. Star Wars is no different. If you let yourself get sucked in, you'll have a great time.