Subtle Emotional Moments In Video Games

When you think about emotional moments in video games, you probably think of Aeris getting stabbed in Final Fantasy VII.  Or maybe you’re not an old fogey like me, and you think of one of the many bittersweet endings in modern games, where the main character loses a loved one or has to make a tough choice.  While there are many great examples out there, the problem is that most of them are too easy.  Any writer can kill off a love interest halfway through the story.  It doesn’t take some great skill.  Anybody can throw a jump scare into a horror game, or end a game with a sadistic choice.

Today I’m looking at some of the more subtle moments.  Little emotional clues that are hard to capture with sprites and CGI models.  Times where programmers showed us how someone feels without hitting us over the head.  I’m the kind of person who gets hung up on weird little things, so here’s a few seemingly random examples of emotional moments that stuck with me.

Final Fantasy VI – What Am I?

FFVI (aka FFIII on the SNES) was full of moments that were much deeper than cutesy sprites should be able to convey.  Like when Locke tells Celes “That ribbon suits you” before the opera, and towards the end of the game Celes risks her life to save that same ribbon (at least that's my interpretation)… it says a lot about her feelings for Locke.  Or how about the part where Celes has to take care of the sick man after the cataclysm?  That entire sequence really showed how bleak the world had become. 

But the scene I want to talk about is much earlier in the game.  Terra, Edgar, and Locke are fleeing from their enemies on Chocobo-back.  Terra uses magic to stop their pursuers, which amazes her companions, since magic is all but extinct now.  As they continue to flee, Edgar mentions that no human is born with powers like hers, with emphasis on the word human.  And Terra’s Chocobo slows to a halt.  Edgars’s words trigger Terra’s introspection.  She doesn’t know who she really is, or how she got these powers.  Will she ever find a place where she really fits in?

It's a very little thing, but the way she slows down, along with the accompanying music, gives you a lot of insight about the state of her mind.  You forget that these are silly-looking sprites on the screen, because the actual characters are every bit as deep as those you would find in a novel.  It was one of the first times a video game really impressed me this way.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm Chapter 2 – After The Play

Performing Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” in LiS:BtS is one of my favorite video game moments.  However, the scene after it is where the game really shines.  As Rachel and Chloe are walking home, they are positively walking on air.   There is a certain kind of natural high you can experience after accomplishing something great, such as acting in a play, and somehow these programmers managed to capture the feeling perfectly.  I can’t even begin to explain the energy in the air, but I have experienced it myself, and I felt it again while playing this scene.  I haven’t even seen actual movies pull off this emotion this well.  Maybe it helps that, unlike a movie, here I actually got to be a part of performing the play.  I got to feel the same buzz as the characters because it was partly my own accomplishment.

It's a beautiful moment, a ray of hope at a time when Chloe’s life is in a downward spiral.

Life is Strange 2 Chapter 3 – She's Got The Look

This is a small one, and probably wasn’t as hard to program, but it’s one of those cases where little things mean a lot.  In the third chapter of LiS2, there’s a scene where a group of young adults are sitting around a campfire, just chatting, drinking, and smoking.  They talk about the kind of things you would expect to hear around a campfire, and the writers really nailed the campfire party vibe.  But that’s not what impressed me.  Not long into the scene, I noticed that this one young woman, Cassidy, was watching me. 

Now maybe I'm imagining things, but while most of the characters stare straight ahead or look at whoever is currently speaking, Cassidy seems to keep stealing glances at me.  And… that’s it.  Nothing big, but I immediately knew what it meant.  Interest.  As the others start going to bed, Cassidy potentially talks you into letting Finn your hair.  While she watches you get shorn, there's something in her eyes.  Again, something hard to capture in a video game.  But that look is worth a thousand words.

Again, I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it was enough that I knew they'd hook up eventually (which they do, assuming you say the right things).  Having been on both ends of that magnetic pull – where you’re in a crowd but only have eyes for one person – I have to say I’m surprised to see it work so well in a video game.

Those are the three best examples I can think of right now.  I’m sorry two of them were from the same series, but the LiS team is just really good at emotional moments. 

Huge dramatic moments are great and all, especially when they turn the world upside down and twist the plot in a whole new direction.  But it’s the subtle touches that bring the characters to life and make you care for them.  There’s a reason the death of Aeris had so much impact – you’d already spent half the game getting to know her.  And yet, personally, I felt more emotional attachment to the characters in FFVI than I did to Aeris.  Somehow FFVI managed to portray deeper emotions with 2D sprites than a lot of modern games do with motion captured facial expressions.  I’m not trying to put down the newer games, or to brag that my generation was better, I just want to point out sometimes having an excess of technology causes you to forget the little things.  Or at least, the ability to convey emotion has nothing to do with technology.

Or maybe I don’t really have a point, and just wanted to ramble about three of my favorite moments in video games.  Hey, it’s my blog, I’ll do what I want, so there!

Konami Anniversary Collection Arcade Classics

Pew Pew Pew!

The Konami Anniversary Collection includes the following games:
Scramble, TwinBee, Nemesis (aka Gradius), Salamander (aka Life Force), Typhoon (aka A-Jax), Haunted Castle, Vulcan Venture (aka Gradius II), and Thunder Cross.

Breaking it down:

Scramble - I loved this game as a kid.  It was so colorful, and it remains one of my favorite shooters.  Yeah, it's pretty dated by today's standards, but playing it reminds me some of the best moments of my childhood.

TwinBee - An overhead shooter.  I never really liked this one, not then or now.

Nemesis (aka Gradius) - The first Gradius is fun, but the power up system annoys me.  You pick up power ups, but you have to manually push a button to activate them.  This gives you some degree of customization, since you can decide whether to use a power up right away or collect them for a better power up.  Except I have to take my eyes off the action to look at the power up bar, and this is not a game that's kind to people who take their eyes off the action.

Salamander (aka Life Force) - This is much improved over Gradius.  I love the "Inner Space" theme, and the power up system works a lot better for me.  I'll probably go back to this one.

Typhoon (aka A-Jax) - Kind of reminds me of a cross between Afterburner and Space Harrier.  A sort of faux 3D jet fighter shooter.  I don't see myself getting into it.

Haunted Castle - This is basically the arcade version of the original Castlevania.  Oddly, it's the only game in this collection that isn't a shooter.  As Castlevania games go, it's not very good, and it's very difficult.

Vulcan Venture (aka Gradus II) - Just more Gradius.  Great if you're a fan, but I still prefer Life Force.

Thunder Cross - I like this one.  It's my second favorite in the package, after Life Force.  It's another one with crazy power ups, but the theme and graphics are totally different than the Gradius/Life Force games.

So, is it worth the $20?  It depends on how much you like spaceship shooters.  It's kind of an odd collection, with 7 shooters and 1 Castlevania wanna-be.  Seriously, it's weird - if they had moved Haunted Castle to the Castlevania Collection, it would actually have improved both collections, IMO.  And if they needed another shooter to fill the slot, I would have loved the chance to play one of the Parodius games.

Still, if you're a Gradius fanboy, this is a pretty good value.  I only see myself returning to a couple of these games, so I might have been better off buying them separately.  Oh well.

Contra Anniversary Collection

I love the smell of retro in the morning.

When I think about classic side scrolling action games, Contra is the first game that comes to mind.  It had everything going for it:  Non-stop action, two player simultaneous play, Rambo-like characters (hey, he was big at the time), a variety of weapons, the ability to fire diagonally, and killer bosses.  It was a very influential series, the go-to example of its genre. The 8- and 16-bit eras were full of games that players described as “like Contra, but with x”.   This long-overdue collection is chock full of nostalgia for my generation of gamers.

The Contra Anniversary Collection includes either 5 or 10 classic Contra games, depending on how you want to count them:
Contra (arcade, NES, and Famicom versions), Super Contra (arcade), Super C (NES), Operation C (Gameboy), Contra 3: The Alien Wars (SNES), Contra: Hard Corps (Genesis), Probotector (Mega Drive), and Super Probotector: Alien Rebels (SNES).

Breaking it down:

Contra (3 versions) –The first game in the series still holds up.  This collection contains the arcade, NES and Famicom versions.  The arcade version has the best graphics of the three, but the vertical shape of the screen feels weird on a modern TV.  It’s like watching a video from someone who holds their cell phone sideways.  Don’t… just don’t do that.  You would think the NES and Famicom versions would be identical, but the Famicom has a few technical enhancements over the NES version.  It’s nice of them to include all three versions here, but marketing it as if they’re three separate games is a bit misleading IMO.  Still, it’s great to own a piece of gaming history.

Super Contra (2 versions; the NES version being called “Super C”) – A worthy entry in the series, though it doesn’t really do much of anything new.  It’s like they just added more levels to the first one.  Fun Fact:  Apparently they renamed the NES version because the word “Contra” was very contra-versial (ha ha) that year, due to the Iran-Contra Affair.

Contra III: The Alien Wars (2 versions; the European version being called “Probotector: Alien Rebels”) – This is one of my all-time favorite games.  The controls are perfect, the graphics are beautiful, and it puts you in all manner of crazy impossible action scenes.  It’s been 27 years, but it still holds up.  It’s nice to finally get to play the Probotector version as well.  Fun Fact: Several of the Contra games were altered and renamed “Probotector” (Robot Protector) in Europe/Australia, to make them less violent.  The Probotector games replace a lot of human sprites with robots.

Contra: Hard Corps (2 versions; the European version is called “Probotector”) – I never had a Genesis, so this one was brand new to me.  It’s difficult, but I guess that’s implied by the title.  I like that the player characters actually look different, rather than just being palette swaps.  My wife and I are going to fight over the female character.  Anyway, it's a great game, and I'll be coming back to this one more later.

Operation C – This Gameboy version could almost be called another version of Super C, but it’s just different enough to be considered its own game.  It’s important for being the first Contra game to have homing missiles, and to make autofire the default weapon.  Unfortunately, like most Gameboy games, it doesn’t really hold up today.  I really wish they’d skipped this one and added one of the other Contra games instead.  There’s plenty to choose from.

So, bottom line:  While this is marketed as having 10 games, it’s closer to five.  I mean, sure, the arcade version of Super Contra is a lot different from the NES’s Super C, but you’re probably going to pick a favorite and only play that version.  And you’re not going to play the Gameboy version more than once, I’m pretty sure.  So that leave four games.  Are these four games worth your $20?  I say yes.  Honestly, I think Contra III is worth the $20 alone, and everything else is just gravy.

This is the third of Konami’s Anniversary Collections they’ve released this year.  They haven’t announced any more yet, but I hope there’s more to come.  These are great versions of some of the best games in video game history.

Castlevania Anniversary Collection

Drac is back… in a retro pack!

The Castlevania Anniversary Collection includes the following games:
Castlevania (NES), Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest (NES), Castlevania 3: Dracula’s Curse (NES), Super Castlevania IV (SNES), Castlevania: The Adventure (Gameboy), Castlevania 2: Belmont’s Revenge (Gameboy), Castlevania Bloodlines (Genesis), and Kid Dracula (NES).

Breaking it down:

Castlevania (NES) – The game that started it all is still fun to play today.  Yeah, the graphics are dated, and the sound is a bit bloopy, but if you like 8-bit games, it’s excellent.

Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest (NES) – Unlike the more linear first game, Simon’s Quest is more like Metroid - you have to explore the world and find upgraded equipment to unlock new areas.  I actually really enjoyed this game when it first came out.  A friend and I spent a weekend playing our way through it, and it’s one of my better childhood memories.  But… honestly?  It’s not a very good game.  Some of the puzzles are almost impossible without a guide, the translation is terrible, and there’s some coding issues that have always bothered me – the way you can walk past certain bosses, for instance.  It’s an important piece of video game history, but I can’t say it’s all that fun to play.

Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse (NES) – I never got to play this when it was new.  I've only played a little bit of it so far, and it seems just like more levels for Castlevania 1.  I'm glad it goes back to the more linear levels, though, instead of RPG elements.  I'll probably play more of this one when I'm done with Bloodlines.

Super Castlevania IV (SNES) – This is still one of my all-time favorite games.  I already owned it on two other consoles, but it’s still nice to see here.  The soundtrack is excellent, the controls are perfect, and I love the (now cheesey) Mode 7 effects.  That chandelier level is still awesome.  The only problem I have is that it lacks personality somehow, compared to the other Castlevania games.  But overall, this is a game worth owning, and possibly the shiniest jewel in this collection.

Castlevania: The Adventure (Gameboy) – This doesn’t age well, though to be honest, it wasn’t that great when it was new.  It’s short, the controls aren’t as forgiving as the NES versions, it’s difficult, and there’s no sub-weapons.  The graphics and sound were pretty good at the time, considering the system it was designed for, but there’s no reason to be playing this game on a modern console.

Castlevania 2: Belmont’s Revenge (Gameboy) – This is slightly better than the first Gameboy title, but honestly, Gameboy games just don’t age well.  I do like the fact that you can play the stages in any order, like Mega Man.  But it’s short and you walk slow.  Pass.

Castlevania Bloodlines (Genesis) – Being a SNES fanboy, I never got to play Bloodlines until now.  I just tried it, and wow, it's awesome.  It's every bit as good as Super Castlevania IV.  I'll keep returning to this one, at least until I've beaten it.  It's worth playing even today.

Kid Dracula (NES) – Another new experience, since this one wasn’t even released in America until now.  From what I've played, it's definitely a kid's game, with charming graphics and goofy monsters.  I'm glad I finally got to play it, even if I probably wont play it much.

So, is this collection worth your $20?  I’d say yes.  The SNES and Genesis games are the real standouts here, but the NES games are still fun too.  I’ve found the Gameboy games to be a waste of space, and really wish they’d put something else in those slots.  But the rest of the games are still strong enough entries to make the collection worth it.  If you like retrogaming, buy it.  It’s the second most fun you can have with a whip.

Retro Review: Crazy Climber

Original Release Date 1980 (Arcade) by Nichibutsu

Crazy Climber was possibly the first video game I ever called “my all-time favorite game”.  It came out in the arcade in in the early 80s, and was notable for its unusual control scheme.  Instead of having buttons, you just had two joysticks, once controlling each arm.  The controls took some getting used to, but I loved it. 

The game has you climbing up the side of a skyscraper, using windows as handholds.  I never really thought about it before, but your character must have some really odd body proportions to make this possible (or the building has really small, closely clustered windows).  You face hazards such as falling flowerpots, birds, closing windows, electric wires, tumbling girders, and giant gorillas.

It’s not an easy game.  There are four buildings.  I think I reached the fourth building one time as a kid, but I didn’t get very far.  I always wanted a home version of the game, but it was never released for any system I owned at the time.  Well, Wikipedia says it was released for the Atari 2600, but I never saw it in stores.

Which is probably just as well, because game consoles at the time wouldn’t have been able to replicate the dual-joystick configuration in any way I would have found satisfactory.  It’s just like me to pick a favorite game that is so hard to port.  Seriously, my next “all-time favorite game” was “Discs of Tron”, which also had an unusual control scheme making it difficult to replicate on home consoles.

Crazy Climber did get a sequel and a few enhanced remakes, but for the most part they exclusive to Japan.  The original game is available on the PS4, which is great because the PS4 controllers are perfect for it.  When I got my PS4 last year, I got to play Crazy Climber again for the first time in more than 35 years.  I also got to play Crazy Climber 2, which I didn’t even know existed. 

So, do they hold up today? 

Ehhhh…  I still enjoy them, partly because of nostalgia, and partly because the controls are still unique today.  There really aren’t any other games like them.  However, they suffer from the same issues as a lot of older arcade games.  They didn’t have the resources to make the games longer, so they settled on making them harder.  These are games designed to eat as many quarters as it can, as quickly as possible. 

If Crazy Climber were designed for today’s consoles, it would have 30 buildings, and you could save after each one.  The buildings would start out extremely easy and wouldn’t really get difficult until building 10 or so.  You would be able to choose from six different climbers, including an unlockable spider monkey.  There would be no score, but you would get achievements after each building.  There would also be an annoying unskippable tutorial level and about $20 worth of DLC, but maybe I’m just being cynical. 

So is that better or worse?  Personally I’d like to see this one updated.  The original still has its charm, but it could really benefit from a modern touch. 

Infinity War vs Endgame

(Spoilers)

About a thousand years ago (well, 1996), a leading video game magazine published a list of “The Top 100 Video Games of All Time.”  Their number 1 was Super Mario 64, which had just come out earlier that year.  A lot of readers complained that they had picked a “flavor of the month” as the winner of an “all time” list.  Yes, Mario 64 was innovative and ground-breaking for its use of 3D platforming, but would it really stand the test of time as well as, say, Super Mario Bros 3 or Street Fighter 2?  Or was it just more appealing because it was shiny and new?  Two years later they ran an updated list, and this time “Ocarina of Time” came out on top.  In both cases, I have to side with “shiny and new.”  SM64 and LoZ:OoT are both great games, but even today, there’s dozens of 8-bit games I would rather play before I touched either one.

When I added Endgame to my ranked list of MCU movies, I had a hard time deciding whether to put it above or below Infinity War.  With the Marvel movies, I tend to like the most recent ones best, mostly because I haven’t watched them 100 times yet.  For each movie on the list, I had to ask myself questions like, “Will I still like this movie as much in five years?  Is Doctor Strange really better than Captain America, or is it just newer?”  Right this minute, there’s no movie in the MCU that I would rather rewatch than Endgame.  It’s the perfect finale to this story arc, and it’s gorgeous to boot.  But is it “better” than Infinity War?  Will I always think so?

The thing is, Infinity War is a solid, cohesive story with a beginning, middle, and end.  Yes, it’s the story of Thanos, and yes, the bad guy wins… but it’s still a self-contained story.  You don’t have to have seen a lot of the other movies to understand it.  Endgame, on the other hand, is probably incomprehensible if you haven’t seen at least 10 of the last 20 movies.  Even some of the movies I would have thought skippable were more important than I would have thought.  My least favorite MCU movie is “Thor: The Dark World”, and yet that movie is essential for one large sequence in Endgame. 

True story:  A couple of weeks ago I was texting with a friend of mine who hadn’t seen Endgame yet.   He was talking about catching his wife up on the series so they could see it together.  He was about to show her Black Panther and Captain Marvel.  I told him that Black Panther is more important to Infinity War than it is to Endgame, and that watching Captain Marvel isn’t really essential as long as you know who the character is and what she can do.  I capped it all off by saying, “Really, the only recent movie I can think of that’s essential to see before Endgame (besides Infinity War of course), is Ant Man & the Wasp.”  He took a minute to reply, and finally texted, “…Fine.  I’ll watch it.”  He’s not an Ant-Man fan, and had resolved to just skip that one.

Here's the thing… Captain America: Civil War is one of my favorite MCU movies.  But do I really love the movie, or is it just that one scene?  When Civil War was released, the airport fight was the best scene in the entire MCU series, bar none.  When we first bought the blu-ray, sometimes we would put the disk in and skip to that scene, watching it two or three times before letting the movie continue.  But if you edited out that one scene, it would be a pretty average movie at best.  It has its high points – Peter Parker meeting Tony Stark, the Iron Man vs Cap fight at the end, the introduction of Black Panther… but it’s not really any better than, say, Winter Soldier.  I love Civil War, but if I’m truly honest with myself, it’s one awesome scene surrounded by filler.

I think we can all agree that the final fight in Endgame has dethroned the airport fight in Civil War.  Endgame’s lengthy climax is truly the best scene in the MCU series.  I’ve seen Endgame three times now, and that scene has brought tears to my eyes Every.  Single.  Time.  When all those portals start opening up, I just lose it.  And then Thanos gets that “Oh Crap” look on his face, and my face actually hurts from all the smiling.  And let’s not forget Cap picking up Thor’s hammer.  But is that one big fight enough to make Endgame the best MCU movie?

Look, I love the lightsaber fight with Darth Maul in Star Wars Episode I.  The first time I saw it, I thought that one scene was better than anything in the original trilogy.  It made the lightsaber duels in Episodes 4-6 look positively antiquated.  But I’ve never accused the Phantom Menace of being the best Star Wars movie.  One great scene is not enough.

Of course, the climax isn’t Endgame’s only good scene.  The time travel stuff was great fun, full of humor and fanservice.  Really, there’s no part of Endgame that I dislike.  But I guess my real issue is that I’m not sure I consider Endgame a movie, so much as a big long climax.  Even though it’s three hours long, it still feels like half a movie to me.  Five years down the road, when it has another ten MCU movies to compete with, I don’t know if Endgame will hold up.  By then, I don’t know if I’ll even think about watching Endgame without watching Infinity War first.  I’m sure I’ll still love Endgame, I just don’t think it will stand on its own as a complete movie the way Infinity War does.

Bottom line:  The climax of Endgame is the best fight scene in the MCU series.  However, I think Infinity War is a much more solid movie.

YouTube

My wife and I have been livestreaming PS4 games lately.  Her YouTube channel is here:

KJ's YouTube Channel

We mostly play Beach Buggy Racing, Puyo Puyo Tetris, Tricky Towers, and the occasional fighting game.  But we plan to add more variety in the future.

And I have a separate channel where I livestream solo games:

Matt's YouTube Channel

Enjoy, and remember to Like, Share, and Subscribe!

Robert Battinson

Half the internet says Robert Pattinson is a terrible actor.  The other half has actually seen him in movies besides Twilight.  Personally, I haven't seen him in enough things to have a strong opinion one way or another.

But in my opinion, it doesn't really matter who plays Batman.  The character is supposed to have the personality of a dead fish - that is 100% by-the-comics canon, fight me.  The action scenes will be done by a stuntman, so Pattinson only has to "act" sporadically, and only with the bottom three inches of his face.  The qualifications it takes to play Batman are thus:  Have a pulse, don't have a beard.

He only needs to have personality in Bruce Wayne mode, but since Bruce is the real mask, that barely matters as well.  Everyone who has ever played Bruce Wayne has portrayed the character differently; there doesn't seem to be a canon way for him to act.

But all I'm really saying is don't judge Pattinson by Twilight.  Much like the Star Wars prequels, the Twilight series made all its actors look worse than they really are.  I mean, look how much Anna Kendrick's career has taken off.  Either some directors just don't know how to get the most out of their actors, or some scripts just don't bring out an actor's full ability.  I don't know. 

My prediction is that he'll be somewhere in the Kilmer range: better than Affleck and Clooney, but not as good as Bale or Keaton.

Life is Strange 2 - Episode 3

Disclaimer:  This blog contains major spoilers for “Life is Strange 2”.

If the first couple of chapters were about racism, this chapter was about pot.  You spend the chapter working at a pot farm, living in a small commune in the woods.  Once scene actually has you controlling Sean on the job, trimming the leaves off buds.  It's tedious work, so the game makes you feel it by having you press repetitive buttons to control your cutting.  It reminds me of Shenmue.

Each night after work, the characters drink beer and smoke pot around the campfire.  They have several spaced out conversations in scenes that could have been straight out of Dazed and Confused.  They discuss free love and pansexuality.  If any of that offends you, well, you probably didn't get this far into the Life is Strange series anyway. 

Speaking of potentially offensive content, this is was the first chapter in any of the LiS games to have nudity in it.  In fact, three different characters show some skin, including the 16 year old protagonist.  I'm not offended by nudity, and what it showed was pretty tame.  But I've heard rumors that Sony is about to start getting tougher on PS4 censorship, so this surprised me.

I saw the climax coming.  You can choose whether or not to help rob your boss's safe, but even if you say no, it happens anyway.  I don't know if there's a way to keep your little brother from making the decision on his own, but going by the "Choices" screen at the end of the chapter, it looks like some version of the climax plays out no matter what.

Daniel's disobedience another theme for the episode.  He's getting more and more powerful, and Sean is having more and more trouble controlling him.  The kid needs guidance, but a lot of your efforts to teach him morality just end up pissing him off, backfiring and pushing him more towards the Dark Side.

For the third chapter in a row, I'm going to say it again:  It doesn't feel like a lot happened in this chapter.  This story is slow.  It feels like they're trying to get five chapters out of what could have been a three chapter story. 

Bottom line: This was a decent chapter, but pretty slow and light on plot.  The climax was important, though, and should have serious repercussions in Chapter 4.

My Choices:

The Future of the MCU

(Endgame Spoilers)

I’m a little worried about Marvel’s future after Endgame.  I’ve heard a lot of people talk about being tired of superhero movies, and Endgame is the best possible stopping point for those who want to get off the train.  I’m curious to see if “Spider-Man: Far From Home” does well.  It looks like a fun movie, but it’s not going to come close to making Endgame money.

Remember when Solo didn’t do well, so Disney blamed “Star Wars fatigue” and cancelled all the Star Wars spin-off movies?  If and when Spider-Man fails to keep the Marvel momentum going, I wonder if Disney will start being more selective there too.  Now on the bright side (and it pains me to type this in any context), but the Marvel movies are way better than Star Wars (seriously, ouch).  Star Wars will always be my #1 fictional universe, but I can’t with good conscience claim that it has maintained the same consistency of quality as the MCU.  It’s not an insult, any more than it insults gold to say it’s not quite platinum.  But Star Wars simply isn’t as impressive as it was when I was a kid, back when there wasn’t as much sci-fi for it to compete with.

It will be a pity if the MCU winds down.  With these first 22 movies, the MCU has done a great job of presenting iconic versions of their most popular characters.  But they’ve also done a decent job of introducing the world to some lesser-known characters.  Now’s the time to phase out the old characters and really start giving up-and-coming heroes more exposure.  If the series were to end in the next couple of years, it just means it would get rebooted in a decade with the same tried-and-true characters.  Characters Disney considers safe, characters who have been proven to sell tickets.

But if they can keep the current MCU going, with the current actors gradually aging out and the new generation of heroes taking their place, it will be better for both the comics and the movies.  Giving exposure to some of the more obscure heroes keeps things interesting – I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of the same six heroes being plastered on everything.  Also, the most iconic characters tend to be white males, and it would be nice if more variety would become mainstream.

Look, call me a “Social Justice Warrior” all you want, but it’s not just about racism/sexism.  The sea of white male faces just gets boring.  The MCU has been really good about choosing diverse supporting characters, but until the last three or four movies, they were just that – supporting characters.  It’s hard for anyone to break through and become a main character while the big four (Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Thor, and Bruce Banner) are around.

But now that Endgame has come and gone, we have a new generation in the works.  Sam Wilson as Captain America?  That’s cool and all, but so far there aren’t any movies on the horizon that would necessarily have him in it.  (Yes, I know about the TV series, but I’m talking about movies right now.)  I doubt we’ll see much of War Machine either; I just don’t know where they’d work him in with the upcoming selection of movies. 

In a couple of months we get “Spider-Man: Far From Home” – This is the only MCU movie with a definite release date.  After that, the whole series goes dark for a while.  It’s odd, for the last few years, they’ve always had approximate dates for at least the next five movies.  But after Spider-Man, they’re being kind of vague.  There’s a lot of stuff in the works, but everything’s so early in production that any one of them could still get cancelled or rescheduled.  Maybe that’s on purpose, they want to give people a break to avoid super hero fatigue, before they dazzle us with a bunch of new characters.

Here’s what’s supposedly on the horizon, and their estimated/rumored release dates:

Black Widow (2020) – It’s hard for me to get excited about this one.  Yeah, I love the character, and any female-led movie is great.  I guess it would be neat to see her origin story, but I have to wonder what will keep it from being a generic spy movie.  I think it would do better as a TV series than a movie, to be honest.  With the right script and director, Black Widow could be the next James Bond, but I just don't think that will happen.

The Eternals (2020) – So far I have no interest in this one.  The title makes me think of The Inhumans, which was not good.  Wikipedia says it’s about a race of godlike beings, which sounds boring.  I hope they surprise me.

Doctor Strange 2 (May 2021) – I can’t wait for this one, the first one was so fun and flashy. 

Black Panther 2 (2021) – I love the character, but his movie was just okay.  I hope this one has more action scenes, and a bigger special effects budget.

Guardians of the Galaxy 3 (2021) – The GotG series is one of my favorites, so I have high hopes for this one.

Shang-Chi (release date unknown) – I know nothing about this character.  It’s nice that it has an Asian lead, but again, I wonder what will keep it from being just another martial arts movie.  Netflix already cornered the market of “super hero whose main power is to punch people” with Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist.  It’s hard for me to get excited about what’s basically a kung fu movie with the Marvel logo stamped on it.

Ant-Man 3 (release date unknown) - Of course this will be fun, though this series is so shallow that it barely even feels like part of the MCU.

Blade (release date unknown) – Yeah, according to some sources, they're working on bringing Blade into the MCU.  I really, really, really don’t care.

So, yeah, I’m looking forward to a couple of those, mostly the sequels.  I’m hoping the rest will surprise me.  But I just don’t get some of the choices they’re making.  Surely there’s more Marvel heroes than this.  I’ve been reading comics since I was a kid, and I know there’s a lot of characters more interesting than the ones they’re picking here.  I mean, I was more of a  DC fan, but I've heard of better Marvel characters... oh wait, those were mostly X-Men.  Well, that's a problem that should be rectified shortly.

I’m not saying these movies won’t be good, but like I said, I’m just worried that they won’t draw a crowd.  I don’t want Disney to ax this series after a couple of them underperform.

I want the MCU film series to last long enough that more of the obscure characters become title characters, and become moneymakers in their own right.  I want it to last long enough that Tom Holland ages out of the Spider-Man role, and they start making live-action movies with Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy.  That’s what I want, I just don’t know if the momentum is still going to be there.  I just have a feeling the series is going to peter out in a couple of years, things will get quiet for about a decade, and we’ll see another reboot starting over with new actors playing the same old characters.  I love Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, but I don’t want to see them again when there’s underrated characters out there that deserve the spotlight.

Update:

Marvel is now saying that there will be some big announcement about future MCU movies after “Spider-Man: Far From Home” is released.  Maybe I should have held off on this blog a little longer.  I hope it’s good news. 

Gotta Go Fast

I woke up this morning to a scene of unimaginable horror, a monstrous mess so unfathomably nauseating that I questioned my own sanity.  I am, of course, referring to the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer.

 Admittedly, as a Nintendo fanboy, I was never into Sonic.  Still, I really tried to like the Sonic games.  The graphics were beautiful at the time, but the gameplay just didn’t do it for me.  It was just Mario with more difficult controls.  The parts where you go really fast were cool to look at, but you’re not really controlling your character while he goes through all the loops and stuff, so it was just as fun watching someone else play it.  The whole concept was just flawed.  Human reflexes just aren’t fast enough to control the character at the speeds Sega wanted to show off, so they had to put safe areas of track in each level so you could basically hold right and watch your avatar move really fast.  Cute gimmick, but it just didn’t mesh well with the “jumping platformer” genre.  But that is just me; if you enjoyed them, I’m happy for you.

 So I’m not this movie’s target audience.  But true Sonic fans are also put off by Sonic’s bizarre character design.  Maybe it will be funny and well-written, and maybe the action and special effects will be dazzling enough to keep audiences awake.  Personally I doubt it.  So far it looks like it’s relying on Jim Carrey to save it, and I’m not sure he’s still funny enough to keep the movie afloat.  I feel bad for James Marsden.  He’s not a great actor, but he’s better than the roles he’s been getting.

 The plot also triggers another one of my personal prejudices.  I’m not a fan of the whole “human befriends exotic creature” genre.  Examples include E.T., Gremlins, Garbage Pail Kids, Detective Pikachu, Howard the Duck, Mac & Me, ALF, Pod People, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Obviously some of those movies are better than others, and I love some of them despite the plot.  But the genre as a whole just feels lazy.  Sometime I bet it starts with a special effect – a prop maker creates a really good creature puppet, and some director thinks it would look good in a movie.  But they can’t afford to make a bunch more puppets and sets, so the movie can’t take place on the creature’s home planet.  So they decide it will be a “fish out of water” story where the creature finds itself on Earth.  It befriends a human (usually a child, but not always), and the human either has to hide it from everyone else (so scientists won’t dissect it), or the human tries to convince other people the creature is real (but the creature keeps hiding or can only be seen/heard by that one human).  It usually ends with the creature going back home.

 Sometimes these movies bother me because I wanted to see the character’s own universe.  For example, the live action “Masters of the Universe” movie had the characters coming to Earth and befriending some teens here.  I would have preferred they stayed on Eternia and used more established characters rather than making up new ones.  There’s a ton of story potential on Eternia, but I guess it was too expensive to film there.  So instead, we were stuck with a movie about He-Man cosplayers running around on Earth.  Meh.

 The Sonic universe is not lacking in content.  The comics and cartoons are full of characters and plot hooks.  Okay, I haven’t actually read the comics, but I’ve heard good things about them.  So why not pull source material from there?  I doubt the budget was the issue.  How this plot and this character design made it this far is amazing to me.  It’s like they used the Super Mario Bros movie as a benchmark.  “Oh, that’s how good video game movies are supposed to be?  Great, I can top that!”

 Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit.  Maybe it won’t be that bad.  But yeesh, it sure doesn’t look good.

Update:
And now the director has responded, and says they will redesign the character before releasing the movie.  I’m still amazed that the first version got so far without anyone in the studio realizing how gross it was.  But I’m impressed that the director had the courage to admit they made a mistake and make it right.  I bet the final design still gets some hate though; you just can’t please everyone.

Avengers: Endgame (MAJOR SPOILERS)

Warning, spoilers aplenty!  Okay, so my spoiler-free review didn't have a lot of depth, but that's because it's impossible to talk about this movie at all without spoilers.  So I am writing this with the assumption that you have seen the movie.

I was in a total daze by the time I got out of Endgame.  I mean, wow, there's so much to unpack here.  Let's divide it up a bit.  I really see this as three movies in one:

Avengers: Aftermath
The first third of Endgame was slow and depressing.  I'm not complaining, because every scene was necessary and it showed just how important it was for the heroes to succeed.  But it wasn't exactly what I would call enjoyable.  It nearly brought me to tears a couple of times.  I might skip it on some future viewings.

Avengers: Time Heist
The second act was easily the most fun, and had the most fanservice.  I really enjoyed watching them replay scenes from previous movies from different angles, a la Back to the Future II, but the rules of time travel in this movie are completely bonkers.  I've already seen several articles and YouTube videos try to explain it, but the fact is that the way they approach time travel simply doesn't make sense when you examine it too closely. 

I was going to list specific examples of the parts that bothered me, but I don't want to deal with people "correcting" me and trying to explain their own interpretation of time travel.  Besides, you know what?  I don't care.  It happened the way it happened.  Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Avengers: Endgame
The climax of Endgame was spectacular.  Easily the best massive battle in the series.  Once again I was nearly in tears when all the reinforcements started showing up.  I loved the "Oh crap" look Thanos had when all the armies started arriving.

I thought the female empowerment shot was awesome, but maybe a little pandering.  My wife said it seemed like a male writer's idea of what would please their female fanbase, and I agree.  But it was a nice middle finger to all the sexist fanboys who whined about Captain Marvel.

As much as I like Captain Machina, er, Captain Marvel, I am worried that they're already overusing her as a "last ditch sudden win" device.  She's too powerful to hang out with this crowd, so it's good that she mostly stays in space.  The plot device works in this movie, but I hope this is the last time she swoops down and saves the day out of nowhere.  She also came across as full of herself, which makes it harder to like her.

The end of the movie was perfect.  The right people died (okay, I'm still upset about Black Widow, but the movie needed a sacrifice that would actually hurt the audience), and it didn't leave a lot of loose threads.  There were several references to the first Iron Man movie, making it and Endgame perfect bookends for the series.

Overall, I thought it was a great movie, but not quite as cohesive as Infinity War.  There were a lot of elements that reminded me of Age of Ultron.  AoU spent a lot of time setting up plot threads for future movies, so that those future movies wouldn't have to devote as much screen time to them.  Endgame spends a lot of time closing threads and cleaning up loose ends.  Endgame is a much better movie than AoU, but the resemblance is still there.

Back in mid-January, I posted a blog with my hopes for Endgame.  So, how well did it live up to my hopes?  Well, let's see:

"I hope Tony sacrifices himself to save Steve; it would be a perfect apology for Civil War." - Well, kind of.  Tony doesn't specifically sacrifice himself to save Steve, but he does sacrifice himself to save the universe, which includes Steve.  Either way, he earned Steve's forgiveness.

"I hope (as some have speculated) that Steve is sent back in time, and lives out his days with Peggy Carter.  It would be the kindest possible way to retire the character." - Boom!  I was very pleased with this part of the ending.  It leaves me with a lot of questions about what Steve did all those years - did he stay hidden, or is there an alternate timeline where he was a superhero back then?  But those questions don't really need to be answered, I'm just glad he got a happy ending.

"I hope time travel isn’t overused in saving the day.  The last thing I want is a “Ta-da!  The first movie never happened!” victory." - Well... At least Infinity War still happened.  They didn't just go back in time and re-fight the battle of Wakanda.  But time travel was a huge component of the second act, and I wasn't quite satisfied with how the writers decided time travel works.  But it was fun enough that I can overlook it.

"I hope we get another Thor movie.  I know four movies is a lot for one character, but Ragnarok felt like such a reboot in both content and tone, that I really want to see another Thor done in that style." - Actually, now it looks like Thor could be in the next Guardians of the Galaxy movie, and that's a pretty good substitute.

"I hope they don’t gloss over the Asgardian refugees this time.  Other than Thor’s line about how Thanos “killed half my crew”, Infinity War was maddeningly silent on the fates of Korg, Valkyrie, and the other survivors.  If they don’t mention it in Endgame and don’t make another Thor movie, then the question will bug me forever.  You know (lots of “ifs” coming), if Drax dies in Endgame (since Dave Bautista is angry about the firing of James Gunn), and if Gamora doesn’t come back to life, and if there isn’t going to be another Thor movie, then Valkyrie and Korg could make decent members of the Guardians." - Huzzah!  We now know that the surviving Asgardians are doing fine, including Valkyrie and Korg.  Also, James Gunn has been rehired, so we aren't losing Drax.

"I hope that future movies feel more self-contained.  I’m afraid that the minute Endgame is over, they’ll jump right into the build-up for the next major crossover event." - That remains to be seen, but this one didn't look like it was specifically setting anything else up, except maybe the next Guardians of the Galaxy movie.  It ended exactly like it should have, with hardly any loose ends.  Even if they never released another MCU movie, it would be a perfect 22-movie story.

"I hope General Ross gets fired, and has his career so totally ruined that he spends the rest of his life collecting discarded soda bottles to buy Ramen noodles." - This isn't touched on, and who knows if the accords from Civil War are still active.  But most of the people affected by them have moved on in one way or another.  Cap's old, Ant-Man and Hawkeye have served their time, Widow's gone.  That leaves Bucky, Scarlet Witch, and Falcon.  Will Sam be accepted as the new Captain America?  Will Scarlet Witch stay on the run?  Will Bucky have to remain in Wakanda?  These are very small questions that can be fixed by a single line of dialogue later.  But I still want to see a future movie that is nothing but two hours of General Ross getting kicked repeatedly in the balls.  Make it happen, Marvel!

Bottom line: Endgame is an excellent cap to an excellent series.  I can't wait to see what's next.

Avengers: Endgame Review (No Spoilers)

Wow.

A Quick Note About Censorship

I just saw a post on Twitter that I think is pretty indicative of modern gamer culture:

Two things:
1. Design choices are not the same as censorship.

2. Those are definitely not A cups.

Look, I hate censorship just as much as the next person, but let's be clear on what censorship actually is.  If the government prevented the entire game from being released due to the violence, that would be censorship.  If Sony or Microsoft required them to cut a lot of content before the game could be brought to their system, that might be censorship.  Heck, when the SNES version of MK1 had its blood and fatalities neutered, I was one of the people who complained about it at the time.  But that's not what happening here.

If the game had already been released in Japan, and they decided to give the characters more modest outfits in the states, I could see it being called censorship.  Then again, localization choices aren't always censorship either.  A lot of games tweak outfits, backgrounds, and other elements between countries, just to make them more relatable to that country's audience.  Sometimes those choices result in less skin being shown, even if modesty wasn't really the reason for the change.

Look, I'm not offended by nudity in video games.  In fact, it bothers me that nudity is a bigger target for censorship than violence.  It amazes me how American culture is so unfazed by graphic murders, but treats the natural human body like it's some disgusting monstrosity.  You can show a woman getting her breast ripped off, as long as you don't show the nipple.  It's a bizarre set of priorities.

So believe me when I say I'm not trying to defend censorship, or prevent games from showing nudity.  But giving women more realistic body proportions, and designing more modest outfits in a video game sequel?  That's not censorship, that's just a design choice.  Nothing was created then removed, they just didn't create what you personally wanted.

Go find some other stupid cause to picket.

Shazam!

S'alright.

Shazam! doesn't take itself too seriously.  It feels like an 80s super hero movie with modern special effects.  The main reason to see this one is for its humor, which is great in some places, but falls flat in others. 

It is a kid's movie.  In fact, I was surprised by two or three scenes I felt were too much for younger children.  It was so close to being a perfect family film, that I'm not sure why they crossed that line.  I'm usually not one for censorship, but there were a couple of scary scenes and curse words that could have been toned down without the movie suffering at all.

When "Transformers: The Movie" came out in the 80s, they threw in a couple of superfluous curse words just to make sure it got a PG rating.  They wanted to make sure kids brought their parents so they could point out the toys they wanted.  I'd almost think the same thing happened in Shazam!, but do people still drop their little kids off at the theater any more?

The craziest thing is that out of all the modern DC movies, this silly movie has the best villain.  It's a low bar, sure, but Dr. Sivana was much better than the most recent Lex Luthor, Doomsday, Steppenwolf, Ares, Incubus, or any of the villains in Aquaman.  Sivana had a deeper backstory, better acting, and a pretty cool look.  It's amazing they wasted him on such a shallow movie.

The pacing of the movie felt a little off.  It felt like the climax started halfway through, and then the finale went on and on forever.  It was still exciting and funny, but it just felt like an unusually long final fight.

Overall, it's a decent film, I'm just not sure who the target audience is.  I'm glad I saw it, but I don't think I'll ever watch it again.

That Star Wars Trailer - Initial Thoughts

So, everybody's talking about the new teaser trailer for "Star Wars Episode XI: The Rise of Skywalker".

Looks good.  As usual, this first teaser didn't show very much, so I really don't know what to expect from the plot.  It didn't really blow me away with new visual experiences like a lot of Star Wars trailers do.  Heck, a fair amount of the trailer looked like it could have been made from deleted scenes from the last two movies.  But it has a feel to it that I like, and overall it just looks like it's going to be better written than The Last Jedi.

What I want from this movie:  Of course I want closure, but I also want it to validate TLJ.  So many people just want to retcon TLJ out of existence, but I'm hoping this movie is written to where TLJ actually has a point.  Basically I want it to build off of TLJ in such a way that if you were to remove TLJ from the trilogy, the trilogy wouldn't make sense.

FTR, I liked TLJ upon first viewing, but it's not interesting enough to rewatch much.  I'm still okay with it, it's just that it doesn't feel like it moves the story forward.  It would make a good episode of a Star Wars TV series, but as part of a GRAND TRILOGY it just felt like filler.  It has a few great scenes but it's not enough to justify the movie.

Everyone's really excited about the return of Lando, but there's even more buzz about that Palpatine laugh at the end.  Is Palpatine back?  Is he a clone?  Can Sith become Force ghosts?

Don't get your hopes up, that laugh could literally mean anything, including just a flashback.  And just because it sounds like Palpatine, doesn't mean it is.  Personally, I'm hoping it has something to do with Snoke.  One of the biggest complaints about TLJ is that it killed off Snoke before explaining who he really is.

But what if Snoke was Palpatine's Force ghost all along (only "playing dead" when he gets sliced in half in TLJ)?  Or what if Snoke was Palpatine's burned corpse, rejuvenated through some Star Wars tech, and now rejuvenated again for this movie?  What if Palpatine and Snoke were both avatars of Darth Plagueis, who is actually an ancient Sith who just keeps finding ways to come back to life over the centuries?

It would make the entire 9 part story the tale of Palpatine's rise and fall, and that would be pretty awesome.

Ranking the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Here’s my current ranking of the MCU movies, best to worst.  This list changes constantly, and not just when new MCU movies come out.  Several of them are probably actually ties, and I could go back and forth on different days of the week.
Updated 7/4/2019:

1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

2. Thor: Ragnarok

3. Guardians of the Galaxy

4. Doctor Strange

5. Captain America: Civil War

6. Avengers: Infinity War

7. Avengers: Endgame

8. The Avengers

9. Spider-Man: Far From Home

10. Spider-Man: Homecoming

11. Iron Man

12. Black Widow

13. Captain Marvel

14. Captain America: The First Avenger

15. Ant-Man and the Wasp

16. Ant-Man

17. Avengers: Age of Ultron

18. Iron Man 3

19. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

20. Black Panther

21. Thor

22. The Incredible Hulk

23. Iron Man 2

24. Thor: The Dark World

Captain Marvel

Vague-ish spoilers ahead.  Honestly, I wanted to like Captain Marvel more than I actually did.  I love the title character, and more than anything I wanted to see the internet trolls eat their words.  But I can’t in good conscience say that Captain Marvel was a great film.  It starts out too slow, it doesn’t have enough humor, and I just don’t think it’s going to be as rewatchable as the other MCU films.  It’s not a bad movie; it’s just not up to the standards of the series.

Brie Larson did an excellent job, the haters were wrong about that.  Internet misogynists have been calling her acting bland, but I think that’s just her character’s personality.  No, she doesn’t toss out quips like Tony Stark.  She’s more prone to make the occasional sarcastic remark that probably sounded funnier in her head.  I can relate to that; heck, I’m married to that.  The difference is that she was following a script, while RDJ barely reads his scripts.  They can’t all be masters of the ad-lib.  Larson’s character is an amnesiac who spent the last six years being reprimanded whenever she shows emotion or humor, so of course her personality is going to seem a little flat now.

I like the way Captain Marvel’s amnesia lets the audience learn her origin story the same way the character does, with snippets of memory sprinkled throughout the movie.  Twenty-one movies into the MCU, they’re struggling to keep them from looking like the same movie over and over.  I appreciate that this one forgoes the standard origin story format, and mixes things up a little.  The twist regarding the movie’s true villains was excellent.  And the “Cairo swordsman” approach to the final standoff was perfect.  Honestly, there’s a lot to like here.  I just wish the pacing was on par with the creativity.

I feel a bit cheated about the cat.  Everyone who saw the movie before me kept saying the same thing: “The cat steals the show.”  As a cat lover, I couldn’t wait.  But unfortunately, the cat really doesn’t have a lot of screen time.  At least, not as much as I’d been led to believe.  It doesn’t even first appear until about halfway through the movie.  I wanted more cat.

The movie never stops reminding you it’s the 90s.  This has always been a trend in movies that take place in specific decades – they end up looking more like the time period than the real life time period actually looked.  But that’s okay, the 90s were pretty nondescript compared to the preceding decades, IMO.  The soundtrack was pretty good.  Not “Guardians of the Galaxy” good, but it did the job.

There’s been a trend in prequels to show too many “how this happened” scenes, often answering questions nobody asked.  Captain Marvel only has a handful, but one of them is pretty major.  Fury’s eye…  Fans actually have wondered how the MCU version of Fury lost his eye, so I wasn’t surprised to see them reveal it here.  However, I’m not sure I love the movie’s answer.  Sure it’s funny (especially how he lies about it later), but I don’t know if I really want that to be funny.  It kind of changes the tone of Fury’s character.  I think they should have left it more ambiguous.  End the movie with him wearing a temporary patch, claiming it was still healing, leaving it unclear whether it actually heals and he loses it another way later.  It could have even been a running joke if any future movies are also set in the past – have each one show him almost losing the eye in different ways.

Is Captain Marvel too powerful to be part of the MCU?  Nah.  She seems to be about as powerful as Thor.  I imagine they’ll mostly keep her in space (after Endgame), so I don’t think she’ll cause any balance issues.  Even if she decides to stay on Earth, they’ll just use the Justice League method for keeping her from saving the day too easily.  “Oh, this week Superman’s off on a deep space mission, otherwise he could stop the Joker’s plan in 10 seconds.”  Personally I hope she shows up in future Guardians of the Galaxy movies (or vice versa).  She teams up with Rocket in some of the comics, and it’s hilarious.

I suppose my biggest gripe is my own expectations.  My three favorite MCU movies are Guardians of the Galaxy 1 & 2, and Thor: Ragnarok.  All three of those have sci-fi themes, and an over-the-top sense of humor.  I think, in the back of my mind, I had begun to associate Marvel sci-fi with that lighthearted tone.  But Captain Marvel takes itself too seriously for a movie about shapeshifting aliens.  I’ve been waiting for a MCU movie with a female lead, and I’m glad I finally got it.  I just wish it hadn’t stopped at “adequate”.

Bottom line: Captain Marvel is a decent movie.  If it had actually come out in the 90s, before the MCU raised the bar for super hero movies, I probably would have thought it was the best thing ever.  As it is, it’s only my 10th favorite MCU movie.  And for a series this good, that’s not so bad.

Saints Row IV

In the past I have whined about how "so close to perfect" the GTA games are.  To recap: I loved GTA3 for its open-world freedom.  It's a common thing now, but at the time, it was revolutionary.  I also enjoyed how the game let you blow off steam, allowing you to do evil things you wouldn't dream of doing in real life.  But that part got old after a while, once every publisher started cranking out crime simulations.

I still like that type of game, but they also make me feel guilty.  I don't actually fantasize about being a gang member, pulling heists, or harming innocent people.  When I played GTA3, I always wished they'd make a game with a similar engine, but where I didn't have to feel guilty about running over random citizens.  Maybe it could involve a town filled with zombies, or alien invaders, or even robots for whatever reason.

I also wanted to design my own character.  In GTA3, I would use the "change appearance" code to make myself look like one of the female NPCs.  Vice City had a similar code, but there was a problem.  See, Vice City did something GTA3 didn't - it made your character a part of the story, instead of a voiceless protagonist.  It always looked really funny when the female appearance I'd chosen started speaking in Ray Liotta's voice. 

I kept hoping the next GTA game would allow you to create your own character, or at least pick your gender.  I wanted to play a generic thug, a blank slate upon whom I could project myself.  But they went in the other direction, with each sequel creating distinct protagonists with deep backstories and personalities.  It was not a bad direction, it just didn't interest me.

A friend of mine recently gifted me a copy of Saints Row IV on Steam.  I already had Saints Row 2 and 3 in my Steam library, but I haven't played much of either.   So I really didn't know what to expect from SRIV.  All I knew about the series was that it was like GTA, but more over-the-top.  Honestly, I had no idea what I was getting into.

So, I really don't know the story so far.  I know the characters used to be criminals in a gang, but the beginning of this game has them working for the military.  It starts off like your standard "kill the foreign terrorists" shooter, and at first I wasn't very impressed.  But the opening mission climaxes with your character climbing up the side of a flying nuclear missile, in a scene so ridiculous it could have come from a GI Joe cartoon. 

As you climb the missile, dodging debris and dismantling components, your teammates sing your praises over the radio.  They know you're unlikely to survive this, and start comically reminiscing about your past adventures.  The scene manages to be both exciting and hilarious.  Of course you do survive, and having saved the day, you are immediately elected president of the United States.  Naturally.

And just when you think the game couldn't get any crazier, aliens attack during a press meeting, and you are abducted.  Once all the introductory exposition is out of the way, you find yourself in a Matrix-style computer generated city, which you can explore to your heart's content.  At first, it feels very much like a GTA game.  The controls are very similar.  You can run around shooting innocent civilians, hijack cars, complete missions, and so on. 

But then your teammates find ways to hack the code, and are able to augment your character with upgrades.  Once you start unlocking super powers, it feels more like Spider-Man.  You can run at high speeds, jump higher than buildings, glide long distances, and even run up walls. 

At one point you briefly escape the simulation, and have to fight your way through the alien ship in your birthday suit.  By then, I'd gotten so used to my augments, that running around powerless and naked made me feel all the more vulnerable.  But once you get out, you decide to go back in to rescue the other abductees.  Thank god.  I missed my super powers.

Saints Row IV solves both issues I have with the GTA series.  Not only can you design your character from scratch, but there are also tons of outfits you can buy and collect.  And being a computer generated imaginary city, I no longer feel guilty about killing random citizens.  Not that the people were "real" people in GTA3, being a video game and all, but apparently I'm such a nutjob that civilians have to be simulations within a simulation for me to feel comfortable killing them.

Anyway, the game is excellent.  There's a lot to do, with optional side quests, things to collect, and intuitive controls.  There's a ton of clothing to collect, and you can download more from the Steam workshop. 

The sense of humor reminds me of Team America: World Police.  It's not for the easily offended, but it's pretty damn funny.

As I write this, I'm at 18% completion with 12 hours of play time.  I've spent a lot more time collecting items and doing side quests than working on the main story.  Today I completed the side quest "Enter the Dominatrix", which is just about the craziest thing I've seen in a video game.  It may be the first time I've ever had to use telekinesis to throw Furries into cages at a sex club.  (At least, in a video game.)

Hopefully I'll actually manage to finish this one; I'm pretty bad about that.  But it's definitely entertaining enough to keep me interested, I just have to be able to find the time.