Justice League: Does Whatever A Snyder Can

When they announced the Snyder Cut of Justice League, I did not think it was the best idea.  Despite my misgivings, I promise you I went into the Snyder Cut with an open mind.  Even when some early reviews said it was overly long and devoid of humor, I was determined to make up my mind for myself.  How often do I agree with professional reviewers, anyway?

Well, the Snyder cut is overly long, and it really doesn't have enough humor.  But honestly?  It is the better version of the film.  It's more coherent, it's fixes some plot holes, and overall, it just feels more complete.

So I was wrong, I'll cop to that.

That said, I still can't say I love it.  Zack Snyder really Snyders his hardest here, and if I was a Snyder fan, I would be in heaven.  But Snyder is simply the wrong fit for this property.  It takes itself way too seriously.  I'm not saying comic book movies shouldn't be serious, but Snyder is going for a "Lord of the Rings" level of epic here, and it's more than I ever needed out of a comic book.

I won't lie, I laughed way too hard at this.

Watching Snyder try and squeeze profoundness out of such goofy characters is like watching a Spongebob Squarepants movie directed by Stanley Kubrick.  He overuses slow motion - I mean, like, seriously overuses it.  It's justified when it's the Flash, showing his perception of the world while he runs around.  But it's used for dramatic reasons way too often.  An early scene has Lois Lane buying coffee in slow motion, which is a bit much.  I have to wonder how much shorter this movie would be if it took out even half of the slow motion.

And I really can't stand how much Snyder hates color.  He uses a sepia-esque style similar to what he did in 300.  It's supposed to be artsy, but everything just looks washed out.  And guess what, he's also releasing a black & white version.  People who hate color shouldn't be making comic book movies.

Left: Aquaman.    Right: Snyder Cut

Side note:  I'm probably one of the few original generation Star Wars fans who actually prefers the Special Editions.  They have their flaws, but I do like the new content.  But it is obvious that George Lucas was "fixing" things that bothered him, not things that bothered fans.  For example, making the ewoks blink in the Blu-Ray release.  I don't think I'd ever heard a SW fan complain that the ewoks didn't blink, but apparently it bothered Lucas.

An even better example is in the Empire Strikes Back.  It always bothered Lucas that in one scene we see Vader in Cloud City, and shortly thereafter we see him back on the Star Destroyer.  I doubt any viewer ever said, "How did he get back there so quickly?"  But it bothered Lucas, who saw it as a plot hole.  So in the Special Edition, he went full overkill, showing way too many shots of Vader's shuttle trip back to the Star Destroyer.

Well, Snyder does the same thing here.  Why were Batman's gauntlets able to block Parademon blasts?  Nobody ever wondered that, ever, because we all know Batman's a master of gadgets.  But Snyder felt the need to explain it, with a scene of Batman and Alfred constructing the gauntlets.  Anyway, while some of it was unnecessary, a lot of the additions really do make the story work better.

Bottom line?  It's a solid movie.  Objectively, it's much better than the theatrical version.  However, I would happily watch the theatrical version again and again.  It's not perfect, but it's kind of fun.  I do not intend to watch the Snyder Cut ever again.  It's an endurance test, and it's not why I watch superhero movies.

I think Snyder's style works when he has the right subject.  I liked Watchmen.  But I grew up with these characters, and all I want is a decent Justice League movie made in the same spirit as the MCU.  Bright, colorful, optimistic, and most of all, fun. 

Still, I do hope that the Snyder fans now have the movie they want.  This movie may not be for me, and I'm sad that it will probably be decades before another reboot gives us a Justice League movie that does the team justice.  

Sonic The Hedgehog: The Movie

First things first.  I'm really glad that they spent all that money fixing Sonic's appearance, because the charming visuals are about the only thing that made this movie enjoyable.  If they'd kept his original design, Sonic would have been the next "Cats".  

Okay, so I was never a Sega fan.  And the Sonic games, while beautiful, never really did it for me.  The controls just weren't as tight as Mario, and therefore the games just weren't as fun.  I know basically nothing about Sonic's personality, so I have no idea how faithful this movie was to the original media.  So in case that's not clear enough: I am not this movie's target audience.

So anyway, Sonic has your basic "E.T." plot.  A creature comes from another planet or dimension or exotic location, befriends a human, and the human has to hide them from the rest of society, while they try to find a way to get back home.  There's really more movies that fit this format than you might think.  It's not just E.T. and Mac & Me, and it's not always a space alien.  It could be a sasquatch or a fugitive robot, basically any creature you'd want to keep away from the FBI.

Garbage Pail Kids, Masters of the Universe, Beastmaster 2, Howard the Duck, The Smurfs... Most of these movies could have taken place in the title character's home planet/dimension/environment, but they had them come to Earth and meet a human instead.  Maybe it was for budget reasons, maybe the writers wanted a human connection to make you care more, or maybe it's just easier than writing a real plot.  

I mean, who knows how to write a Sonic movie that takes place on Sonic's own homeworld?  I guess it's too much trouble to pick up a Sonic comic book and find out what kind of plotlines they have there.  Instead, let's just throw Sonic at Earth and have a standard "fish out of water" story.

There's nothing wrong with the Sonic movie (except the scene with the obligatory fart joke - I know kids love that stuff, but I hate easy humor).  It moves at a solid pace, it has a few cute jokes, and the cast seems to have fun with it.  Like I said in my blog about "The Stand", James Marsden is the perfect everyman.  Jim Carrey leaves no scenery unchewed, as expected.  The other actors... exist, I'm almost sure of it.

Anyway, Sonic is an okay movie, but nothing you haven't seen before.  When compared to other E.T. movies, it's one of the better ones, but that's a low bar.  When compared to other video game movies, it's still one of the better ones, but that's an even lower bar.  It runs rings around the Mario Bros movie, but that's the lowest bar of all.